Eazy.Walters - Pages of Pain Lyrics

Uh my mama said I wouldn't die in a time my life was dark
I said I'd tatt that on my arm but I keep that in my heart
And even at my lowest I'll still give you all of me
I look up to the sky and out of everyone you call for me
I'm sitting in my room feel the rain would only fall for me
I try and touch your hand but the heavens way to tall for me
Until that day I picked up my pen
Grandma read me bible stories said I'd be like them
Yea uh
Strengthen me to speak to your people I don't got a voice
And tell all my demons go to hell and they ain't got a choice
I wear this Jesus piece and pray to God I hope this fight don't last
My mama praying for me just begging me to light my path
I wanna make a change but I guess they got the right to laugh
And every tear that fell would turn to words that I would write in class
Just reminisce to fights we had the love was always strong
I wrote pages of pain pain you can't hear in a song
That type of pain you need to feel
Broken hearts are hard to heal
Grip the pen or grip the steel
No need to try and be real
Chill
Believe me I know since that's all I ever had
Ripped pages after pages writing letters to my dad
I gave it my all with just a page and a pencil
Alone in my room just replaying instrumentals
Every beat loop was chain off mental And every chain that fell was a permanent reminder
That my mother made me strong and I needed to stay behind her
Living off songs that I wrote in my binder
Lost in my mind but always managed to find her
I care for people then tell me how I'm bad at this
One stone can kill two birds and that ain't nothing close to Atticus
At 5 I made a promise still believe that I would keep it
You was writing about this pain till you told me I should speak it
You believed in who I was and I swear it was no secret
If the limit is the sky why they doubt I can reach it
Told me I'm a gift from God that's why you gave me this name
I was still growing up just thinking how far we came
From apartments to houses to the clouds in the sky
18 Years living and I'm asking him why
I promised moms I'm gonna make it there's no reason to cry
They told I could never that's one reason to try
I got my feet up of the concrete I just hope I can fly
From my scars I swear they spite me
I can't fall now my brother wants to be just like me
If I use this broken chain I can really choke this demon now
Except the roles are flipped if I ain't screaming then I'm screaming now
I seen my friend get locked the block was hot and so it's steaming now
I seen my father struggle so I know that I ain't dreaming now
Please pinch me
I'm trying to paint a picture of pain just like Da Vinci
I'm trying to give you all the pain and passion bottled in me
Yea
So far they said I've been too far
Search and you'll find exactly who you are