El Dios - Crying Inside Lyrics

I try 2 run from the pain but I cant shake it
I'm losing loved ones around me and i can't take it
Feel like im shit outta luck and cant escape it (I cant escape it)
I keep on hearing them tell me that chaz aint make it (Cuz aint make it)

I neva felt so much pain it hurt my soul (It hurt my soul)
I'll neva grow with my cousin until we old
They took my nigga 4 nothing he had a kid
They killed my cousin outside of my auntie crib
That's right where he lived thats right where he stayed
My auntie found my cousin laying in the driveway
When they told me u got shot i was on my way praying 2 god u beat the odds they said u passed away
Den 3 years later we lost ton 2
We had 2 bury my nigga where we put chaz 2
We had 2 carry them caskets up 2 the hearse 2
I seen my cousins both lifeless it hurt my soul 2

When u look into my eyes tell me What u see
What didnt kill me made me stronger plus it made a beast
Some of my niggas aint here died in the streets
I talk 2 them while they lay under my feet
Are they roaming or they resting in peace
I cant believe they said melvin died in his sleep
He had a wedding in just a couple of weeks
It f*cked me up and it made me not wanna sleep
Its times i think about grandma and I just cry
Cant get no more hugs and kisses tears in my eyez
I stood right there in the room and watched her chest
Body broke down as soon as she took her breathe
My nana say pray 2 god he got the answer
My mama had many surgeries and still got cancer
I get emotional thinking bout losing mama
Cause aint nobody goin love me more than my mama
Aint nobody going deal with me like my mama
And wont no one keep it real just like my mama
I cant believe that my granddaddy no longer here
Im losing weight not from eating but sheding tears
I look around and im losing all of my peers
If I told u i love u I was sincere
U cant say that u love me if u ain't here
When people show u they colors they made it clear

I pray 2 god do he listen
I got some people in yo presence im missing
Heart barely beating like im dying inside
Cant whip these tears cause I'm crying inside