El Famoso y Grandioso - Richmond Is a Hard Road to Travel Lyrics

Would you like to hear my song? I'm afraid it's rather long
Of the famous "On to Richmond" double trouble
Of the half-a-dozen trips and half-a-dozen slips
And the very latest bursting of the bubble
'Tis pretty hard to sing and like a round, round ring
'Tis a dreadful knotty puzzle to unravel
Though all the papers swore, when we touched Virginia's shore
That Richmond was a hard road to travel

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
Richmond is a hard road to travel
Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
Richmond is a hard road to travel, I believe

First, McDowell, bold and gay, set forth the shortest way
By Manassas in the pleasant summer weather
But unfortunately ran on a Stonewall, foolish man
And had a "rocky journey" altogether
And he found it rather hard to ride o'er Beauregard
And Johnston proved a deuce of a bother
And 'twas clear beyond a doubt that he didn't like the route
And a second time would have to try another

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
For Richmond is a hard road to travel
Manassas gave us fits, and Bull Run made us grieve
For Richmond is a hard road to travel, I believe!

Next came the Wooly-Horse, with an overwhelming force
To march down to Richmond by the Valley
But he couldn't find the road, and his "onward movement" showed
His campaigning was a mere shilly-shally
Then Commissary Banks, with his motley foreign ranks
Kicking up a great noise, fuss, and flurry
Lost the whole of his supplies, and with tears in his eyes
From the Stonewall ran away in a hurry

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
For the Valley is a hard road to travel
The Valley wouldn't do and we all had to leave
For Richmond is a hard road to travel, I believe!

Then the great Galena came, with her portholes all aflame
And the Monitor, that famous naval wonder
But the guns at Drewry's Bluff gave them speedily enough
The loudest sort of reg'lar Rebel thunder
The Galena was astonished and the Monitor admonished
Our patent shot and shell were mocked at
While the dreadful Naugatuck, by the hardest kind of luck
Was knocked into an ugly cocked hat

Then he pulls off, gave it up in terror and despair
For Richmond is a hard road to travel, I declare!

Then McClellan followed soon, both with spade and balloon
To try the Peninsular approaches
But one and all agreed that his best rate of speed
Was no faster than the slowest of "slow coaches"
Instead of easy ground, at Williamsburg, he found
A Longstreet indeed, and nothing shorter
And it put him in the dumps, that spades wasn't trumps
And the Hills he couldn't level as ordered

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
For Longstreet is a hard road to travel - I'm afraid! I'm afraid!

Then said Lincoln unto Pope
"You can make the trip, I hope
I will save the Union nation
To make sure of no defeat, I'll leave no lines of retreat
And issue a famous proclamation"
But that same dreaded Jackson, this fellow laid his whacks
And made him, by compulsion, a seceder
And Pope took rapid flight from Manassas' second fight
'Twas his very last appearance as a leader

Then pull off your coat and roll up your sleeve
For Stonewall is a hard road to travel
Pope did his very best, but was evidently sold
For Richmond is a hard road to travel, I am told!
I am told!

Last of all the brave Burnside, with his pontoon bridges, tried
A road no one had thought of before him
With two hundred thousand men for the Rebel slaughter pen
And the blessed Union flag waving o'er him
But he met a fire like hell, of canister and shell
That mowed his men down with great slaughter
'Twas a shocking sight to view, that second Waterloo
And the river ran with more blood than water
Than water, than water

To travel, I believe!
For Richmond is a hard road to travel, I believe!

We are very much perplexed to know who is the next
To command the new Richmond expedition
For the Capital must blaze, and that in ninety days
And Jeff and his men be sent to perdition
We'll take the cursed town, and then we'll burn it down
And plunder and hang up each cursed Rebel
Yet the contraband was right when he told us they would fight
"Oh, yes, massa, they fight like the devil!"
Fight like the devil!