eli studt - december Lyrics

It was the 20th of december
I don't remember the weather
What it was like, if it was day or night
But I remember those bloodshot eyes
I don't know what I was doing
Maybe calling my girl? I remember her
And how messed up I was when I left
You were so upset and I didn't know
Cause I was always on my phone
Mother said don't leave him alone
Cause we don't know where he might go
Then the ambulance came I crushed all your pills
I couldn't believe that this was real
I think the devil might have bruised your heel
I wish you cared 'bout how your family feels
But I know when you're messed up you don't think right
And that's cause I was in my head just the other night
I was looking up "whats the easiest way to die?"
We've fed into the biggest lie, thinking there's no point in life
I'll just pop another pill, I'll just do it for the thrills
What about your funeral when your body's lying still?
I'll just break your grave in half, like I broke those drugs in half
I'll just go insane if you leave then I'll go mad
God we need you right now
Cause I think that we're heading south
God we need you right now
Cause we won't live without you
On my eighteenth birthday I'll hang myself in a tree
And no one will know what happened to me
I get manic episodes where I cant think
But I don't drink so I just drown in my sorrows
Won't like waking up tomorrow
I always feel so hollow
I cant solve my problems
But maybe God can?
I can't give up
I'm sick of fake love
But I don't say nothing
Cause I don't want to look bad
God we need you right now
Cause I think that we're heading south
God we need you right now
Cause we won't live without you
God we need you right now
Cause it looks like we're going down