Eminem - Curtain Call: The Hits Album Lyrics

[Demon:] EMINEM!
[Eminem:] Nooo!
[Demon:] EMINEM!
[Eminem:] NOOOOO!
[Demon:] Hhh-HA-haha! Wake the f*ck up, mutaf*cka!
[Eminem:] What are you want from me? [crying]
[Demon:] HH-HA-HAHAHAHH! Remember me?
[Eminem:] I KILLED YOU!
[Demon:] Hahhh! No, I was dead... bitch!
[Eminem:] What are you want from me?
[Demon:] I'm aliiiiive!
[Eminem:] OH, my... [crying]
[Demon:] Hahhh! Get up!
[Eminem:] Noo...
[Demon:] Get up and look in tha mirror!
[Eminem:] I DON'T WANT TO!
[Demon:] Look in tha mirror, Ms. Mr. Flexs!
[Eminem:] LEAVE ME ALOOONE!
[Demon:] HA-HA! Look in tha mirror!
[Eminem:] LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!
[Demon:] You're Nothing!... You're NOTHING without me!
[Eminem:] LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!
[Demon:] Look in tha motherf*ckin' mirror!
[Eminem:] LEAVE ME THE F*CK...
[Demon:] HA-HA-HA! Oooooh!
[Eminem:] ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! [mirror broke]

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack faaaack
F*ck I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

I never seen no shit like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick
Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her
F*cks like a porn star
Looks like jenna
F*ck I'm gonna
Cum
I think my rubbers coming off
But oh it's so f*ckin wet and soft
F*ck I'm gonna start letting off
I'm squirting and she's not getting off
And she's on top
I'm gonna f*cking, oh god
Oh don't do that
Don't stop
Stop, don't, I don't mean don't stop
Ah Wait a minute
Oh ohh fack
I'm gonna f*cking cum

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

Oh wow oh aww
I need a cigarette now
Oh I'm so f*cking hot and your so f*ckin hot
Oh my God
I wanna facking fack
No, not f*ck
I said fack
F A C K F A C K
Fack fack facking freak me
Oh yeah girl c baby
They call me mr freaky
Let's call your sister threeway
Have some threesome
Me so horny
And your such a f*ckin babe
I wanna go down on u
Fack u shave
Oh god damn
Here I go again
I'm gonna cum, I am

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

Ok I'm done
I already came twice
You ain't gonna make me cum
I'm all out of gas
Not so fast
Ah Your finger just went in my ass'
Ahh that hurts take it out now
Oh wait a minute put it back in
In in in
This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men
I like boobs
Boobs boobs
Now See that gerbil
Grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole
Oh yeah right there, right there
Uhhh I'm cumming
Oh yeah
Fack I just came again
Ok pull it out now
Oh f*ck yeah
Wait he's not out
He's still crawling around up there
Oh fack I think it's stuck
Oh but it feels so f*cking good

Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack fack
Fack I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass
Through a tube
Ewww
Eww ewww

Man, whatever
Dre just let it run
Ayo, turn the beat up a little bit
Ayo, this song is for anyone
F*ck it, just shut up and listen, ayo

I sit back with this pack of Zig-Zag's and this bag
Of this weed, it gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest MC on this, on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension
Dispensing these sentences, getting this stress
That's been eating me recently off of this chest
And I rest again peacefully
But at least have the decency in you
To leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
In the streets when I'm eating or feeding my daughter
To not come and speak to me, I don't know you
And no, I don't owe you a mothaf*ckin' thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick if you tempt me
My tank is on empty, no patience is in me
And if you offend me, I'm lifting you ten feet in the air
I don't care who was there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you, I don't mean to be mean
But that's all I can be, it's just me

And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father
I hate to be bothered with all of this nonsense
It's constant, and, "Oh, it's his lyrical content
The song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately points a finger at me
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
When you don't give a f*ck, when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull, 'cause they full of shit too
When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at!
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper-class city havin' this happening
Then attack Eminem 'cause I rap this way
But I'm glad, 'cause they feed me the fuel that I need
For the fire to burn, and it's burning, and I have returned

And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And dropped from my label, let's stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name Is"
And pigeon-holed into some poppy sensation
To cop me rotation at rock-n-roll stations
And I just do not got the patience
To deal with these cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigger who just tries to be black
'Cause I talk with an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep asking the same f*cking questions
What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in
The why, the who, what, when, the where and the how
'Til I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearin' it out
'Cause they driving me crazy, I can't take it
I'm racin', I'm pacin', I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit
In the bathroom without someone standing by it
No, I won't sign you an autograph
You can call me an asshole, I'm glad

'Cause I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news, every day I am
I don't know, it's just the way I am

[Chorus: x2]

Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem... excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
For one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like Primus? (Yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Try {'cid} and get messed up worse that my life is?
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to {impregnate}
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead! "
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted! "
Well since age twelve, I've felt like a caged elf
Who stayed to himself, in one space, chasin his tail (blalblalblabla)
Got ticked off and ripped Pamela Lee's lips off
Kissed em and said, "I ain't know silicone was 'sposed to be this soft"
I'm bout to pass out and crash, and fall in the grass
Faster than a fat man who sat down too fast
C'mere lady! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a damn, Dre sent me to tick the world off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high (Damn!)
Thanks a lot... next semester, I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And told him to change the grade on the paper (Now!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Served the bartender, then walked out with a tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
In a spaceship while they're screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS! "
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more {dope} than I do
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin {drugs} and name it after her (Here mom!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, {ASSHOLE! }'

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of Kool-Aid - dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll {f*ck} anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO {TITS! } (WAH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and tap myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Ask him if he bought a porno mag and seen my ad

[Chorus]

[instrumental for the first 0:19 of this song]
[thunderstorm with rain fall in the background]
[piano plays softly leading up to Eminem's rap]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways; eff it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her? I'm a name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some [silent] who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground stuff that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the stuff you did with Rawkus too, that sh... was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Elton John]
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
Oh I can't see at all!
And even if I could it would all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
Not so bad...

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's messed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, "No"
That's pretty crummy man - you're like his favorite idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're sayin in your songs
So when I have a crummy day, I drift away and put 'em on
Cause I don't really got [edit] else so that [edit] helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan - P.S. - we should be together too

[Chorus: Elton John]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sendin you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doin 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drownin
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I loved you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you go to sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up {*edited*}! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shoot, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this tape out?
[car tires squeal] [CRASH]
... [brief silence]... [LOUD splash]

[Chorus: Elton John]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that sh... intentionally just to diss you
But what's this stuff you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that stuff just clownin dawg, c'mon - how messed up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselin
To help your ass from bouncin off the walls when you get down some
And what's this junk about us meant to be together?
That type of crap'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy bit
I seen this one {*edit*} on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove this car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was... it was you
Damn!

[audience screams and applauds]

Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted, one moment,
Would you capture it, or just let it slip, yo

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down
The whole crowd goes so loud, he opens his mouth
But the words won't come out
He's chokin' how, everybody's chokin' now
The clock's run out, times up, over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity, oh,
There goes rabbit he choked, he's so mad but he won't
Give up that easy, no, he won't have it he knows
His whole back's to these ropes, it don't matter he's dope
He knows that but he's broke, he so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody better go capture this moment
And hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

His souls escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking, make me king
As we move toward a new world order, a normal life is boring
But superstardom's close to post mortem
It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows it's all over, these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, god only knows he's grown farther from home
He's no father, he goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cold water
These hoes don't want him no mo', he's cold product
They moved on to the next shmo' who flows, he nose dove, and sold nada
So the soap opera's told and unfolds, I suppose it's old partner
But the beat goes on da da dum da dum da da

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this mother f*ckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
But I kept rhymin' and step writin' the next cypher
Best believe somebody's payin' the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact that
I can't get by with my nine to five
And I can't provide the right type'a
Life for my family 'cause man
These goddamn food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer,
This is my life and these times are so hard
And it's getting even harder tryin' to feed and water my seed, plus
Teetertotter caught up between bein' a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screamin' on and
Too much for me to wanna stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail I've got
To formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherf*ckin' option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot,
So here I go with my shot, feet fail me not
This maybe the only opportunity that I got

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

You better lose yourself in the music,
The moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a life-time, yo

You can do anything you set your mind to man.

[Intro: talking]
Shady, Aftermath
BTOV

There she goes shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control
Bobby Creek

[Bobby Creek:]
I'm on the patron
In the end I'm gone
My eyes ain't clear
I'm gone
So she hear me wrong
I'm kinda in the zone
Cause the DJ playin' my song
Just another opportunity for sayin' I'm known
I'm from Atlanta
So southern ain't just part of my grammar
I can up and cock the hammer
For any nigga whatever
But I came here to get on goose and tropicana
Get loose put some more of my juice
In your caboose
Sippin everything from white grain
To deuce juice
With nothin' to gain
But my grace and loose tooths
Eminem came Obie stat and proof too
Bobby creek is in the place
The name is snoop too
But the money been around
My drinks is 10 around
I can make her spin around
If she keep her dinner down
Simmer down
We can hit the telly when the fun stops
And I hit you in ya grill
Come tickle my gumdrops

[Nate Dogg:]
3 to the 1from the 1 to the 3
I met a bad bitch last night in the D
Let me tell you how I made her leave with me
Conversation and Hennessey
I've been to the muthaf*ckin mountain top
Heard muthaf*ckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'm a pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie
We bout to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl
That will do whatever the f*ck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[Chorus: Nate Dogg]
Now shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me

[Eminem:]
Obie Trice!

[Obie Trice:]
One slug
Couldn't snuff young cause
Goodness gracious
Haters stay on these nuts
Won just like a hood rat chick who was curious
Serious
Full breast, ready to touch
Who's that in the cool blue back
With a boo new rag
Givin' head while he poppin' the clutch
True dat I had a few
Obie rollin' with brews
And Nate annual annually knockin' the boots
It's on manual
The way I get em outta they shoes
Talk a little shit
Then they anus'll ooze
Talk a little spit on my ding-a-lang
Who
It's shady
You know the name of the crew
You know the aim is to bang you
In the mansion
With a magnum
With a night came to the matinee
Mathers, Nate, Obie
Came to party
You better ask somebody

[Chorus: Nate Dogg]
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me,
Shake that ass for me

These ideas are nightmares,
white parents whose first fear is a child with dyed hair,
and who like earrings,
like whatever they say has no bearing,
its so scary in a house that allows no swearing,
to see him walking around with his headphones blaring,
alone his own zone, cold and he dont care,
he's a problem child, what bothers him all comes out,
when he talks about his ****** Dad walking out,
cuz he hates him so bad that he blocks him out,
if he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out,
his thoughts are wacked, he's mad so he's talkin back,
talkin black, brainwashed from rock & rap,
he sags his pants, doo rags and a stocking cap,
his stepfather hit him so he socked him back,
and broke his nose, his house is a broken home,
there's no control he just lets his emotions go,
c'mon!

Chorus:
Sing with me (sing),
for the year (sing),
for the laughter, sing for the tear (c'mon)
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Verse 2:
Entertainment is changing, intertwinin' with gangsters,
in the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum,
holy or unholy, only have one homie,
only this gun, lonely cuz don't anyone know me,
yet everybody just feels like they can relate,
i guess words are a mother*****, they can be great,
or they can degrate, or even worse, they can teach hate,
its like these kids hang on every single statement we make,
like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum,
now how the **** did this metamorphosis happen?
From standin' on corners and porches just rappin',
to havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ***,
but then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you,
fans turn on you, attorney's all want a turn at you,
to get they hands on every dime you have,
they want you to lose your mind every time you mad,
so they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon,
any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns,
thats why these prosecutors wanna convict me,
strictly just to get me offa these streets quickly,
but all their kids be listen'n to me religiously,
so i'm signing CD's while police fingerprint me,
they're for the judges daughter, but his grudge is against me,
if i'm such a ****** menace, this **** doesn't make sense, B,
it's all political, if my music is literal then i'm a criminal,
how the **** can i raise a little girl?
I couldn't, i wouldn't be fit to,
You're full of **** too, Guerrera, that was a fist that hit you!

Chorus

Verse #3
they say music can alter moods and talk to you,
well can it load a gun up for you and cock it too?
well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude,
just tell the judge it was my fault, and I'll get sued,
see what these kids do, is hear about us totin' pistols,
they want to get one, cuz they think this ****'* cool,
not knowin' we're really just protectin' ourselves,
we're entertainers; of course this ****'* affecting our sales,
you ignoramus.
But music is reflection of self,
we just explain it, and then we get our cheques in the mail,
it's ****** up ain't it,
how we can come from practically nothin',
to bein' able to have any ****** thing that we wanted
it's why we sing for these kids that don't have a thing,
except for a dream and a ******' rap magazine,
who post pinup pictures on their walls all day long,
idolize their favorite rappers and know all they songs,
or for anyone who's ever been through **** in they lives,
so they sit and they cry at night, wishin they'd die,
till they throw on a rap record, and they sit and they vibe,
we're nothing to you, but we're the ******' **** in their eyes,
that's why we seize the moment, and try to freeze it and own it,
squeeze it and hold it, 'cos we consider these minutes golden,
and maybe they'll admit it when we're gone,
just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our songs,
and we can

Chorus

Chorus without Beat

Guitar solo

[Intro: Obie Trice]
Obie Trice! Real name, no gimmicks... (*record scratch*)

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
'Round the outside, 'round the outside
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
'Round the outside, 'round the outside

Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back, guess who's back

I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants ta
See Marshall no more, they want Shady, I'm chopped liver
Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating (heyyy!)
You waited this long, now stop debating
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
F*ck that! Cum on your lips and some on your tits
And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits; f*ck you, Debbie!

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prisoners helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "Bitch!!!"
A visionary, vision is scary
Could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves
A rebel, so just let me revel and bask
In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass {??smack}??
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?
Well, I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna
Enter in, and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
Testing, attention please
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with
Anybody who's talking "this shit, that shit"
Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards
And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie
You 36-year-old baldheaded fag, blow me!
You don't know me, you're too old, let go
It's over, nobody listens to techno
Now let's go, just give me the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
No, I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
To do black music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy
(Heyyy!) There's a concept that works
Twenty million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty without me

Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me!
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

[Outro]
Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la la la la
Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la la la la
Kids!

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...

[Chorus]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle rages on for toy soldiers

[Verse 1]
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like f*ck it I understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cause

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cause once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
F*ck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's f*cked the game up cause one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well f*ck it, that motherf*cker can get it too, f*ck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
We still have soldiers that's on the front line
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyan Avenue, soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the verdict
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'
Cause frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cause

[Chorus]

May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ah)
It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha)
Feminist women love Eminem
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the you-know-who"
"Yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us, cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ah)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a f*ck like me
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder, "how can
Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f*ck"
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
F*ck it, let's all stand up

[Girl voice]

[Intro: Eminem (Fergie)]
Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you? (daddy's here, here to hold you)
Straighten up little soldier (through the night, through the night...)
Stiffen up that upper lip (through the night...)
What you crying about?
You got me...

[Verse 1: Eminem]
Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
When I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cause you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laney uncles crazy, ain't he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

[Chorus: Fergie]
Now hush little baby, don't, don't you cry
Everything, everything's gonna be alright
Now hush little baby, don't, don't you cry
Everything, everything's gonna be alright

[Verse 2: Eminem]
It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cause daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cause daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cause all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

[Chorus x2: Fergie]

[sound of static]

[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
He decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this... gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]
Alright, stop! (Huh?)
Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
And try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
I'm your motherf*ckin conscience

[Eminem]
That's nonsense!
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay
You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade

[Dr. Dre]
Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
Think about it before you walk in the door first
Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]
F*ck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a f*ck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a f*ck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude...)

[sound of static]

("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know! ")
("Look baby... ")
("Damn! ")
("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right? ")
("Well OK... ")

[announcer]
Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss! ")
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
Things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit! ")

[Eminem]
Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
And smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe...
(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
Yo, look at her bush... does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
F*ck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
Man f*ck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail...

[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]

[announcer]
Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
He walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
("WHAT THE F*CK? !? ! ")
("Grady! ")

[Dr. Dre]
Alright calm down, relax, start breathin...

[Eminem]
F*ck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off? !
F*CK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!

[Dr. Dre]
Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick? !)
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]
Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES? !

[Dr. Dre]
What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
I'm a kill you motherf*cker!

[Eminem]
Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
How in the f*ck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]
Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
Been there, done that... aw f*ck it...
What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]

[Introduction]
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These f*ckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

[Chorus/Outro]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Curtains closing and sounds of footsteps]

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window (window)
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, f*ck it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window (window)
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's f*cked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother, man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, "No"
That's pretty shitty, man, you're like his f*ckin' idol
He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I'd write you you would write back
See, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
'Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me, man
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window (window)
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

Dear Mr. I'm Too Good To Call Or Write My Fans
This will be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing ninety on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka
You dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Slim, shut up bitch, I'm tryna talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window (window)
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother
I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must've missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin', dawg, come on, how f*cked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counseling
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was, it was you
Damn!