Empe - This Isn't Healthy Right Lyrics

So here I am again
All this fear of what might happen
It's the reason it keeps happening
But I won't tell my friends
'cause every time I tell them they tell me I'm better than
Anything I'm up against

But I'm not better than you
I ruined this for the both of us
And you know that that's true
I can't believe that me trying to be a better me
Could ever lead to you not thinking that
You could ever be a better you.

So what am I supposed to do
Am I supposed to wait here until there's better news
Or better wheather, I never knew that I could ever feel this bad
Although I'd rather just ignore the weight of my problems and thoughts, all together

This isn't healthy, right?

I guess I never really stood a chance
'cause in the end fear always keeps the upper hand
The fear of not beeing good enough
I drove myself crazy just so in your eyes I wouldn't suck
Damned that I know that I f*cked up
I shared my doubts one too many times
And with that I blurred the lines
Now you don't know what you like
And you can't seem to decide
If you think what we're trying to do is even wrong or right
I'm supposed to love my life
Somebody once told me that you can only achieve
That if you can do it right, it's good advice
'cause how can I be proud and balanced
If I never stand up for a fight or face the challange
Damned

This isn't healthy, right?