Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C And he frolicked in the local bars in a dress by Versace Little Jackie Paper was a poor, young, lonely lad And his skills at attracting the female sex really were quite bad Jack came from the suburbs, hadn't seen too much He didn't know from rubber breasts, which felt real to his touch
Oh Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C And he frolicked in the local bars in a dress by Versace
One night Jack was drinking at the Judy Garland pub When Gus waltzed in like Joan Crawford and Jack fell hard in love When he saw this fair creature, he thought he'd take a chance So Jack bought his love a Chardonnay and asked Gus for a dance
Oh Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C And he always wore Lee Press-On Breasts and his purse was by Gucci
Well I guess you know where this is going considering what this song's about And well I guess Gus wasn't gussied up enough and so Jack soon found him out And I guess if there's a moral it's that love can be confusing in our modern world So you can imagine Gus's great surprise when he found out that Jack was really a girl
Yes, Jack the lonely drag king lived by the sea And she frequented the local bars in a suit by Armani Jack was born a female and had been so all her life But she dressed like a man and acted like a man and had been looking for a wife So it didn't work out between Gus and Jack, though they have remained as close friends Jack lives alone by the side of the sea, and Gus married an Oakland Raiders tight end
Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C And he frequented the local bars in a dress by Versace
Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C And she frequented the local bars in a dress by Versace