Ethan Fiske - Melancholy Lyrics

Mother, I'm not innocent no more
Mother, I think I've lost this war
I'm sorry I kept secrets
I never had to keep it real before
Each day I am doubted and made fun
My pain, I fear has just begun
I try to keep my hopes up
But disappointment always is to come
Restless nights when I do not quite feel alive
Heart is locked and constant thoughts of suicide
It seems the only way to live is do or die
I'm set aside
Every single person I've adored
Will hear oh how minor is the score
I wish I could express it
But I don't know what I am searching for
Staying sane in crazy; take a look inside my mind
But don't look to long or else you won't like what you find
Useless sense of hopelessness; I'm really in denial
Twisted thoughts and images are hidden by a smile
I'm so bold with these goals that I'm chasing
Say goodbye, early life; I'm still aging
No one sees what I be, what I'm facing
My whole body's racing
My spirit is bracing
Smoking up with the boys in the basement
If I think I'm happy, I must be mistaken
Can't remember better times; My mind's erased it
Listen, don't you waste it
Hear the words I'm saying
Feeling like I don't belong
Life isn't a happy song
Nobody is ever on my side
I'm gon' have a heart attack
I don't want to come back
I just wanna run away and hide
Staying sane is crazy take a look inside my mind
People telling others things and rumors flying by
Body's pounding, feeling down; my head is in the sky
Nothing ever goes my way but I always comply
Knock it off, make it stop, I can't take it
Every day, got no breaks, always faking
I just smile like a child, no displaying
People think I'm playing; it goes without saying
Imma leave, rest in peace, I ain't playing
Let me go, yeah you know I ain't staying
I'm just sick of the tricks and obeying
All the moves I'm making; it's mine for the taking
I think I'm going insane
Getting high to ease the pain
What the hell have I done with my whole life?
Someone tell me what I'm doing wrong
You must've known all along
Why would you ruin me in spite?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
People, look me dead into the face
People, I'm not one to be replaced
I won't break down when you're around
Won't let you witness me if that's the case!
Don't try to understand
Because your time will only go to waste