Exit Se7en - Killing It (Dissociating) Lyrics

Maybe I can't kill it
But I can make you feel it
I'll make you feel what I feel when I sing this tune

I keep trying
And I keep failing
Never even once in my whole damned life have I smiled for real, yeah
But I blame myself
It's an eye for an eye
So, maybe I won't have to see my mistakes if I strike myself f*cking blind

So, you see how you feel that?
How ya feel?
Do you feel bad?
I say the wrong things at the right time
Right lies at the wrong time

I'm outta my mind, but I'm just fine
Standin' beside my body, watching me talkin' to everybody
Actin' like everything's always sunny
Like, "you're goddamned right I wanna be your buddy!"

Making it so obvious
Just to hurry up and get over this
I'm just bein' sarcastic, Miss
Yeah, I'll f*ck, but do we have to kiss?

Because I don't wanna feel nothin', baby

See them thinkin'
"What's wrong with this guy, why's he think like that?"
I'm just dissociating
I ain't gonna lie, and all for that you can thank my dad

See, when I was a kid, he picked me up
By the hair on my head and lit me up
And threw me so hard, the wall had a hole, and
I guess my goddamned soul just kept goin'
Just kept goin'
Just kept goin'

I don't wanna feel nothing, baby
I guess I don't have a choice, so
I'll make you feel what I feel when I sing to you

But it's not like I'm
Still ridin'
On the same old fears after 38 years
I got new tears, new shame
New ways to hurt, the only thing that stays the same is the pain

I thought I could turn it all around
Take the lessons of my father and flip 'em upside-down
But that girl
She f*cked up my whole world
When she took my kid away and said I'm better dead

And that's why I don't wanna feel nothin', baby

I see you thinkin'
"What's up with you, guy?
Why do you laugh when your life is hell?"
I'm just dissociatin'
I ain't gonna lie, and all for that I can thank myself

But now when I fall, I just stand up
Ain't no hair on my head because it just burnt up
I walked through hell and set my soul on fire
My strength is my fuel and the hotter I get, I get higher
I get higher
I get higher