CHARLOTTE:
People might think I'm very dykish.
I make a big stink when I must, but goddamn!
I'm just professional, never too nonchalant.
If I'm a bitch, well, I am what I am!
Just call me 'Doc', don't call me 'lady'.
I don't like to talk when I'm losing the game.
Bachelors arrive sick and frightened.
They leave weeks later unenlightened.
We see a trend, but the trend has no name.
Something bad is happening.
Something very bad is happening.
Something stinks, something immoral.
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound,
Stories echo underground!
Something bad
Is spreading, spreading, spreading
'Round!
CORDELIA: Tell me how it tastes! Tell me if it's good!
Tell me, dear, if you'd like seconds-
CHARLOTTE: Stop!
CORDELIA: Go ahead and wound my pride.
CHARLOTTE: Just stop.
CORDELIA: You're feeling very sick inside, I can tell.
And it's something I cooked. (Charlotte laughs)
I just knew how you looked.
Look what I've done to my doctor.
She's my doctor,
And I love her!
She's got passion!
She's intelligent and, Jesus Christ,
A doctor!
Very wealthy,
And I love her!
Doctor of internal medicine!
I'm sorry that you're queasy.
CHARLOTTE: I'm uneasy.
CORDELIA: She's got something on her mind that makes her nervous.
CHARLOTTE: This is f*cking ridiculous! (Cordelia laughs)
CORDELIA: She's my doctor and I love her! She's got heart!
CHARLOTTE: (overlapping)
I scan the mag, very chic tabloid.
The men dressed in drag, next to their moms.
Fashion and passion and filler,
But not a word about the killer.
I like the ballgowns, but Jesus Christ!
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA: Something bad is happening!
CHARLOTTE: Something very bad is happening!
Something stinks, something immoral!
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning!
Rumors fly and tales abound,
Stories echo underground!
Something bad is
CORDELIA: (overlapping) Look, I made her sick!
She ate the food and she got sick! Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me!
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA: Spreading, spreading, spreading 'Round!
CHARLOTTE: Look, the virus has been found!
Stories echo underground! Something bad is
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA: Spreading, spreading, spreading 'Round!
WHIZZER: It bounced in.
MARVIN: No, it didn't.
WHIZZER: Hit the line, you know it did.
MARVIN: Just begin.
WHIZZER: Are you kidding'
Who's telling who how to play'
MARVIN: Let me live, please forgive
Me for winning one game.
WHIZZER: Serve it up.
MARVIN: I attack!
WHIZZER: Hold it down, keep him back-
Something's gone out of whack!
MARVIN: I hit!
WHIZZER: Ah shit!
MARVIN: My game! 1 2 3 4!
WHIZZER: 1 2 3- damn it. Good serve, Marvin...
MARVIN: 1 2 3 4.
WHIZZER: 1 2-
It hit my heel.
MARVIN: Don't be bitter.
WHIZZER: No big deal, the game is yours.
MARVIN: It's unreal, you're a quitter!
WHIZZER: I can't go on anymore!
MARVIN: Be a jerk, my sweet bruiser.
Try to be a decent loser! At least you could give me that!
WHIZZER: Excuse me' I'm ready to go! I'm ready' (he's kinda passing out, Marvin notices)
MARVIN: (gently) Do you know all I want is you'
Anything you do is alright. Yes, it's alright.