Fiction - Empire Lyrics

I feel like I've told you this story a thousand times, and it never gets easier
As if my memories and family would agree, you'd see I can't recall having either
You'll find me walking the line between acceptance and fantasy
Gravity pushes me daily, you knew
You can't expect a massive lack of effort to make your dreams come true
I've seen you waiting, don't mistake my hesitating
Understand I never wanted this so damn bad in the first place
It's so frustrating when you're constantly updating
If you'd just played along you imagine succeeding the worst way
In the worst way
I thought I had it made in my sophomore year, it was clear we were moving
But in hindsight, the fear I remember of wasting a year was only learning and losing
If deja vu were true, then when I'm thinking of you in the ratings
The crowds getting doubtful
If deja vu were true, then you'd be bleeding without me
As if I'm watching a bad TV rerun
I've planned all the action, I've seen all the outcomes
If this adventure of ours is a book, it's a bad one
I would've shut the lid years ago
So if you're counting me out on a count of the timeline
Then you must be counting wrong
I was waiting and hating the patience
But living and learning means knowing to follow your heart
And in the doubting of thoughts you referred to as "all mine"
You forgot to tag along
I never wanted the selfish to fear me, but "hero" and "zero" is only a letter apart
Look around now the stage is dismantled
Explain how to live in a life that's been cancelled
As if it always meant nothing