Most of my good friends
Are "Ass-Over-Teakettle Men"
I don't know how else to say it
They're all so relatively blameless
I'm expecting less from them by the minute
They practically showcase
A lack of grace and malaise
It's too quiet here to open "the real stuff"
Pretend the audience is meeting him for the first time
Cut him into tiny pieces and
Feed him a new line or keep trying
So he thought of her and she appeared
Her head trauma had cleared
She didn't weigh enough
To keep the passenger seat up
Everyone believed
That she was harboring Steve
And the two of them
Were on a bender again
It's too quiet here to open "the real stuff"
Pretend the audience is meeting him for the first time
Cut him into tiny pieces and
Feed him a new line or keep trying
Or just feed him to the lions to keep dying
You just need a solid thought per minute
Or maybe less
Just enough to get you through this situation
But just short of confessing