Secondhand Video (MV)

I watch reality TV to prevent me from crying
On the days that I'm feeling something stirring inside me
I'd rather be numb
I stare at my phone
Scrolling past messages read
But they're seldom replied to, no they don't charge me extra
I just don't feel obliged to type what I'm feeling
When my mind is still reeling
I'm avoiding the issue, but I promise I miss you
I'm guilty of pleasures that I find
You won't have to read between the lines if I
Quit the thinking, pour another drink
I'm feeling numb but pressured by my guilty pleasures
Holy smokes, I wanna buy a pack of cigarettes
But I don't smoke and so I'll have to find it secondhand
I want it clouded around me, want my throat to be burning
And my mouth will be open, but you won't hear a word from me
'Cause I'm avoiding the issue, but I promise I miss you
I'm guilty of pleasures that I find
You won't have to read between the lines if I
Quit the thinking, pour another drink
I'm feeling numb but pressured by my guilty pleasures