CHORUS:
Walk walk trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
Lumber lumber plod plod
Shuffle shuffle talk.
XANTHIAS:
So tell me more about this writer -- uh --
DIONYSOS:
Shaw. Bernard Shaw. Hated the name George. Born in Dublin in 1856. Dramatist, literary and music critic, socialist spokesman, showman, controversialist and a leading figure in the 20th century theatre.
XANTHIAS:
Wait a minute -- is this the guy who wrote "My Fair Lady"?
DIONYSOS:
Well, it was based on a play of his -- "Pygmalion." A Greek myth.
XANTHIAS:
Then he can't be all bad.
DIONYSOS:
That's the spirit!
CHORUS:
March march trudge plod
Tramp slog stumble stumble
Trek trek trudge plod
Tramp slog grumble grumble
Walk walk trudge plod
Tramp slog stretch...
DIONYSOS:
I love to travel --
Don't you?
I love a change of pace,
I love a change of space.
I love to see a place
That's absolutely new.
CHORUS:
Sweat
DIONYSOS:
I love to travel --
CHORUS:
Bump
DIONYSOS:
Don't you?
CHORUS:
Limp
DIONYSOS:
Of course you do.
CHORUS:
Pant pant puff puff
Drip drip dawdle dawdle
DIONYSOS:
I love to travel,
It's true.
I love a change of venue,
A change of menu,
The feeling when you
Meet with something strange.
CHORUS:
Slog
DIONYSOS:
I love to travel.
CHORUS:
Slog
DIONYSOS:
I love a challenge.
CHORUS:
Slog
DIONYSOS:
I love change.
CHORUS:
Puff puff drip drip
Slip trip
Kvetch...
XANTHIAS:
Are we there yet? Because my feet have definitely lost interest.
DIONYSOS:
Stop complaining. Such is life. Each of us must play his own part: You, Xanthias, a slave. I, Dionysos, a god.
XANTHIAS:
Half a god. Your mother was mortal.
DIONYSOS:
It still counts!
XANTHIAS:
If you're a god, why do you cringe when you hear thunder?
DIONYSOS:
That's my father Zeus, chief of the Olympian gods, the most powerful and important job there is, and well, he and I... we have issues.
XANTHIAS:
You also cry when you go to the theater!
DIONYSOS:
Have you been to the theater lately?
CHORUS:
Mud dirt thorns vines
Sand rock gravel gravel...
XANTHIAS:
I hate to travel.
I hate to even leave the house.
I hate the change of air,
I hate the getting there.
I hate to pack and all of that,
I hate to change my habitat,
I hate to not know where I'm going,
Then to not know where I'm at.
I hate the --
DIONYSOS:
You've gotta learn to see the bigger picture!
CHORUS:
Swamp slush rain fog
Gnats wasps snakes mosquitoes
Swamp slush rain fog
Gnats wasps snakes mosquitoes
XANTHIAS:
Who needs to travel?
I say to leave the world alone.
It may unravel,
But it's the mess we've always known.
All right, okay, it isn't perfect,
Still it's perfectly okay.
And if it's gonna go to hell,
Then let it.
Why should I as well?
Forget it.
First I had the grippe,
Then trouble with my hip.
Now I have blisters on my lip,
This trip is giving me the pip --
DIONYSOS:
You can stop rhyming right there. Move!
CHORUS:
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
DIONYSOS:
[Overlapping, as CHORUS continues under]
I love to travel --
XANTHIAS:
[Overlapping]
I hate to travel --
DIONYSOS:
You, too.
XANTHIAS:
I do?
DIONYSOS:
[Enthusiastically]
Don't you just love surprise?
You've gotta love surprise,
You've gotta love it or
I'll leave you to be nibbled by the flies.
[A beat, as XANTHIAS takes this in, then:]
XANTHIAS:
I love to travel!
DIONYSOS:
What joy!
XANTHIAS:
Oh, boy!
DIONYSOS:
If it's exotic,
It's erotic,
And that's all I have to say.
I love to travel!
Don't you?
XANTHIAS:
I do!
BOTH:
Okay!
ALL:
I love to travel,
It's true.
I love a change of venue,
A change of menu,
The feeling when you
Meet with something strange.
I love to travel,
I love a challenge.
I love change.
CHORUS:
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
March march trudge trudge
Slog slog travel travel
Marsh marsh sludge sludge
Bog bog gravel gravel
Mire mire muck muck
Travel travel march march
Trudge trudge slog
Okay!