gayrat - manic state Lyrics

When I tell you this, please don't say I sound insane
All this f*cked up shit's been running through my f*cking brain
Mind's f*cked up, drunk driver behind the wheel,
Hard to stay inside my lane, harder still to f*ckin' deal with
Thoughts of suicide, stay up late until I die, or maybe that's just my
Warping mind trying to keep up with the lies, sorry if I haven't seemed much like myself
As of late, I don't think there's much left for me to tell, if you want, i'll play it safe
Because you've got this twisted, evil grip up on my fate, I couldn't tell you what it is
But if you want, I'll make a date out of every time that we hang out, maybe then I won't be so irate
I'll exclude myself from events, like I always do, and when you call I won't answer
I'll be drifting off into the nether realm, please don't you
Bother trying to message me, contact me at all, actually
It's better if you try to deal with this resolve in a way
That doesn't affect my day-to-day, it's got my back against the wall
I stumble forwards, still I crawl, in a sense, I'm trying to get away
My innocence, my selfishness, my self-doubt is my downfall, wait
This is just my manic state, I think I'll be better on a different day
I know it's not something that you can simply change, or something that will go away
My mind just can't keep up with it's own pace, I guess
Maybe still it's the fact that I am horribly depressed
Sorry if I seem like such a mess
It's just the fact that I am horribly depressed