Mary had a little lamb
I read it in a book
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rules
It's a good thing that she went
To learn her P's and Q's
Or else she might have seen
The nasty thing that I saw
I can't believe the sight I saw
Still can't trust my eyes
I guess it's true when they say
They do it in the woods
He was big he was dark
He was friggin tall
He turned and looked straight through me
In the middle of natures call
I never did think much about it
Now I think I should
Since the day I walked up on him
Doing it in the woods
It was fresh it was moist
It stuck fast to my shoe
I couldn't run no place to hide
I smelled like sloppy stinky poo
I wish I did what Mary did
I should have went to school
I could have followed her example
And learned my P's and Q's
But instead I strayed that day
I thought that I was cool
I lay here helpless on the ground
Praying hard he doesn't fart
You better do what Mary did
And keep your ass in school
Or you may end up like me
Sitting on natures stool
I don't think you have to ask why
The truth has been revealed
Yes they do it in the woods
I found out first hand