hashtag truly - afterthought Lyrics

Called me back last night again
My, your lies were elegant
Soft as silk and sweet as sin
I smiled back and let you win
The retrograde put me through hell
But you don't ask so I don't tell
I nod along and listen well
You carry on about yourself
But you shine bright, dear
You deserve it
Your time's priceless
I'm not worth it
So I try harder to be perfect
Your eye's a prize, I fight to earn it
But we are what we are
And it's not what it's not
Just a crack in the ice
Just a roll of your eyes
I'm an afterthought
That you have a lot
I learned to dance when I was young
Pretended I was having fun
Not fitting in with anyone
Till I was strong enough to run
I grew my roses just for you
I don't know why they came up blue
I'd prick my wrists and fingers too
To paint them in a warmer hue
But you're a big star
Supernova
Perfect body, framed diploma
And I taste strange like diet cola
A car crash you can't look away from
But we are what we are
And it's not what it's not
Just a crack in the ice
Just a roll of your eyes
I'm an afterthought
That you have a lot
And I could do it if I wanted
I could monetize the content
Head out west and sell a sonnet
Live in solitude in softness
It's a thing I dream of trying
When I'm tired of keeping quiet
Or or I'm cheating on my diet
And it's getting hard to hide it
Or maybe that's just the plot
Of a movie I forgot
Just an afterthought