Heath Allyn - Tech Support Lyrics

Well I know you don't need anyone's help, your own ability more than suffices
But it's so much better to let somebody else check out your motherboard or plug in devices
So let me take care of all your modern frustrations
I'll be your boffin probing all of your workstations
No viruses detected, I'll keep everything running smooth
Optimizing me and you

I wanna be your tech support
24/7 I'm there on site
And though I mean it quite literally
If it sounds like innuendo then that's alright
I wanna turn you on, tune you up, tweak your settings til your satisfied
Just let me be your tech support and I'll fix everything right

I'd love to fill your ipod, I'll make sure that it's never out of sync
I'll calibrate your entertainment center, keep your cables coiled without a kink (Unless you're into that)
I'll defrag you at your every whim
Keep you spinning at 10,000 RPM
Increase the bandwidth of our connection til it's off the chart
Just like the throughput of my heart

I wanna be your tech support
24/7 I'm there on site
And though I mean it quite literally
If it sounds like innuendo then that's alright
I wanna turn you on, tune you up, tweak your settings til your satisfied
Just let me be your tech support and I'll fix everything right

Hardware, software, anywhere you need me there
Hi-fi, wi-fi, you and I a twisted pair
Just grant me access to query your source
Until my fingers are tired from textual intercourse

I wanna test you out, open your ports, double check your wiring and get rid of your shorts
I wanna scan your disks, make sure you don't overheat, configure your peripherals, re-plug and re-seat
I wanna turn you on, tune you up, tweak your settings til your satisfied
Just let me be your tech support and I'll fix everything right