Oh headlines are in big font
Are you interested or not
Ooo turn to page c three for the rest
They've got sports stocks and new trends
Share the comics with your friends
This scoop is surely the best
Seventy-three and sunny today boys
Mommy mommy look an ad for a Prius
F*ck Prius
Newspapers for sale
Please don't squash my snail
Every time it comes off the press it makes me hard
Ooo open the paper
Eat a grape and you'll become graper
The new writer is very avant-garde
Seventy-three and sunny today boys
Mommy mommy look an ad for a Prius
F*ck Prius