ImJustTy - Changes Lyrics

I feel corrupted
And it's something that I cannot beat
I have too many emotions
That are surrounding me
Evil thoughts are flooding my head
I need room to breathe
I really hate the way I feel
But I won't say a thing
And Every time I try to talk
You wouldn't hear a word
I overthink and cause an issue
I know it's absurd
Only time I speak my mind
Is purely in a verse
I swear it's gonna be like that
Until I'm in a hearse
I don't think that anyone
Could understand the pain
I've got a lot of issues
That are stuck inside my brain
Just tell me that you'll trust me
When I say I'm okay
Though I'm not okay
Okay
I gotta make some changes
But I can't use your help
Cause I gotta make some changes
But I gotta do it myself
The reason I have all these issues
Is my lack of trust
I've had too many people lying
So I've had enough
That's why the ones I trust are few
I started closing up
The ones who aren't would kick me down
When I felt bad enough
That's why I made a change
I couldn't be the same
Yet I'm thankful for the people
That helped me through the pain
I try to keep moving forward
Never want to look back
I'd rather let all of my past
Just be that
Letting bygones be bygones
So we can chill
Honesty means the most
I want to keep it real
Depression is the thing
That no one really wants to feel
Sometimes I wonder
If happiness is actually real
I gotta make some changes
But I can't use your help
Cause I gotta make some changes
But I gotta do it myself
I'm not asking for pity
From anybody here
I just wanted to say
My thoughts are what I fear
Because they are what change my mood
Because they are what my mind
They could be the darkest
Then turn around and act so kind
I think they like to play some games
Like how far can we take it
How much til he's left for dead
So we can overtake him
How much can we really push it
Until he's lost himself
I think he's getting really close
As long as no one helps
I'm truly fighting every day
To not take my own life
The only way I know to push
Is if I start to write
Then the demons would start to lose
And I can win another fight
So I can live another night