Ah distinctly I remember
It was in the bleak December
That I pondered weak and weary
O'er my volumes of golf lore
Eagerly I wished the morrow
That I happiness might borrow
From a game that would cause sorrow
Sorrow to opponents sore
To opponents male and female
Who would evermore be sore
At the lowness of my score
While I nodded nearly napping
Suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone gently rapping
Rapping saying to me "Fore!"
"'Tis some visitor" I muttered
"Out there jealous of my score
Only this and nothing more"
(Fore!)
(Fore!)
Deep into that darkness peering
Long I stood there wondering fearing
Fearing that a rival had come
Wandering to my door
But the silence was unbroken
And the stillness gave no token
And the only words there spoken
Were the whispered words "Your score!"
("Your score!")
Merely this and nothing more
Open then I flung the shutter
When with many a flirt and flutter
In there stepped a saucy Caddie
Caddie who knew well my score
(Caddie who knew well my score)
Not the least obeisance made he
Not a minute stopped or stayed he
But with cool assurance laid he my
Golf clubs upon the floor
Then he kicked them - nothing more
(Fore!)
(Fore!)
(Fore!)
FORE!
"Prophet" cried I "thing of evil -
Prophet still if boy or devil! -
By Chick Evans Vardon Travers
And the others we adore -
Tell this would-be champion truly
When will bogey be his score?"
Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!"
(Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!")
"Be that word our sign of parting
Boy or friend" I shrieked upstarting
"Get thee back onto the golf links
Use your voice to call out 'Fore!'
Do not try to cool my ardour
For I'll only practice harder
And I know that Col Bogey I'll be
Downing with my score"
Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!"
(Fore!)
(Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!")
And the spirit of the Caddie
Never flitting must be sitting
Still upon my harmless golf clubs
That he kicked upon the floor
For my shots have all the seeming
As if played by one who's dreaming
And with driver cleek and mashie
I'm the one to call out "Fore!"
Always am I in the background -
Always do I call out "Fore!"
Good score make I? Nevermore!
Quoth the Caddie "Nevermore!"
Good score make I? Nevermore!