If you only knew Video (MV)

I've been trying so hard to survive Sometimes I think that I wanna die
I feel so f*ckin' guilty, cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life
So I keep all the pain to myself Losing faith, but nobody can tell
Mama don't want you worried, cause that would just hurt me

So I pretend I'm fine If you only knew
What my mind is telling me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room
Here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true
Oh, if you only knew All the shit my brain is putting me through

You can run and over straight to my room Here tonight I'm sorry, but I need you
Oh, if you only knew I wish I was somebody else
I'm coming to the overwind Now I'm falling again, getting drunk with some friends
It's a silent cry for help I wanna get better, I want you to know

That I can't do this on my own If you only knew
What my mind is telling me I should do That I'm drunk and all alone in my room
Here tonight I'm too sad to cry, it's true
Oh, if you only knew All the shit my brain is putting me through

You can run and over straight to my room Here tonight I'm sorry, but I need you
Oh, take me out of this hell I'm somebody else
Take me out of this hell I'm not myself
I wanna tell you What my mind is telling me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room Here tonight I'm too sad to cry, but I want to
Oh, if you only knew