[ Featuring Larry Steelman ]
This is what you give me to work with
Well, honey, I've seen worse
We're going to turn this sow's ear
Into a silk purse
We'll have you washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all
Wait and see, when we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With great fortune and a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be that day
Men want girls with good taste
Calm, obedient, who work fast paced
With good breeding and a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
When we're through, you can't fail
Like a lotus blossom soft and pale
How could any fellow say "No sale"
You'll bring honor to us all
There, you're ready
Not yet
An apple for serenity
A pendant for balance
Beads of jade for beauty
You must proudly show it
Now add a cricket, just for luck
And even you can't blow it
Ancestors, hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my family tree
Keep my father standing tall
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting a matchmaker
Destiny, guard our girls
And our future as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll
Please, bring honor to us
Please, bring honor to us
Please, bring honor to us
Please, bring honor to us
Please, bring honor to us all
