Now they make new movies in old black and white
With happy endings, where
nobody fights
So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage
Honey, jump
right up and show your age
Chorus:
I wish I had a pencil thin
mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind
A two toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy Devine
I remember bein'
buck-toothed and skinny
Writin' fan letters to Sky King and Penny
Oh I
wish I had a pencil thin mustache
Then I could solve some mysteries too
Then it's Bandstand, Disneyland, growin' up fast
Drinkin' on a fake
I.D.
Yeah, and Rama of the jungle was everyone's Bawana
But only jazz
musicians were smokin' marijuana
Yeah, I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
Then I could solve some mysteries too
Then it's flat top, dirty bob,
coppin' a feel
Grubbin' on the livin' room floor (so sore)
Yeah, they
send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge,
But all you want to
do is learn how to score
Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear
underwear
I don't go to church and I don't cut my hair
But I can go to
movies and see it all there
Just the way that it used to be
Chorus:
That's why I wish I had a pencil thin mustache
The "Boston Blackie" kind
A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Andy
Devine
Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be
Maybe suave Errol Flynn
or the Sheik of Araby
If I only had a pencil thin mustache
Then I could
do some cruisin' too
Coda:
Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little dab'll do yah
Oh, I could do some cruisin' too