Jimmy Poindexter - Whodunnit Lyrics

Wake up
Huh? Wait, where are we? What did you do to me
Get up. It's time you learned the truth
No, don't tell me we just did the it was all a dream bit
God damn it

I'll take a water and a coffee for my friend here
Okay, coming right up
So look, I'll just come out and say it Jameson

Your friend Dick Charming is the real target
What? That's preposterous. He can't be the killer
He's not the killer. I said he's your real target
What

He's the one who hired the killer to murder those people
They were all witnesses to an incident that happened six years ago
The death of a woman
A detective from another jurisdiction was hired to poke his nose into the case

And once he got too close to the truth
Dick had him and all the witnesses he'd gathered murdered by another guy
A woman? Six years ago, I..
That woman was your mother, Jim

That bastard. That's why he put me on this case
He didn't think I could solve it
Here's that water and coffee for you
How do I know this is true
How do I know you're not the one sent here to just give me another false lead
Because I have this
My name is Dick Charming. I killed Jim Jameson's mother and many others
Well, that's pretty convincing

He knows you're close
If he's smart, he's figuring out a way to kill you too now
If you can catch him by surprise before he strikes
You might be able to bring him to justice

Okay. Well, how do I do that if I don't even know where he is
He's here
That's where he frequents when he's not at that office of yours
As for the guy doing the actual killing, I've yet to find him

Want to find that guy? Be my guest. But I don't think it's necessary
Dick is calling the shots
Alright. Great. But one more thing
Who the hell are you

Let's just say I started this gangsta shit
I'm the original P.I
Dick Tracy
No. What? No. That's too old. Think newer

Steve Martin in The Pink Panther
No. I'm..
Knight Rider
He wishes
Inspector Gadget? Monk
No. Batman
Thomas Magnum
I'm Tom Selleck for crying out loud
Jesus
Oh. Yikes
Well, this is awkward