Joey Small - Fifty Shades of GRE Lyrics

"ETS is the best, make you whisper in my ear
Make you feel my problems, I'll taste your fear
Your future, your school, your ID card, you are mine, you're running out of time to get that far
First off, I don't make tests, I f*ck, hard"

If you designed this test that's nice
But don't use ephemeral twice
If it was not required
I'd pass on it, no dice

Because I'll never use the word
Perfunctory
Oh no, you see
It's the fifty shades of GRE

"I could measure your anxiety on the Richter scale
It's not the kind of test you're allowed to fail
I need more orange juice money, the check's in the mail
(It's thirst-quenching and refreshing)

You won't go to grad school if you don't take me
So let my word problems rip through your virginity
I won't keep this brief, my directions spring free
"Thwack"

How many birth mothers does it take to make a crack whore
5 options, but I put them all in my butt drawer
None of this is relevant, these skills are not core
Not to be impudent but this tutelage is surely albacore

I'll never use any of these 3 word choices
Tell me, is the man erudite, fervid, or boisterous
And you'd think that for a test that claims to be so ultimative
That the quality of questions would be much more quantitative

It takes over three hours to compare our diction
I'd rather be at home reading some Twilight fan fiction
To court dorm formers you need to charge less money
If I wanted short form pretention I'd read Milk and Honey

So stop trying to take it so fast, put away your chain
The game's to take me to dinner first, then you can wreck my brain
I'll almost reach your perfection so you're a fan of mine
But won't stay another night, you just want 1 69

If you designed this test that's nice
But don't use ephemeral twice
If it was not required
I'd pass on it, no dice

Because I'll never use the word
Perfunctory
Oh no, you see
It's the fifty shades of GRE