She complains I'm always smiling
And too damn polite
She accuses me of giving in
When she wants a fight
When we're out on the town
And sit down to dine
I don't dare touch her chair
And keep my hands off the wine
She rolls her eyes
When I tip my hat
I try to hold the door for her
She'll have none of that
She says I'm too good looking
I don't stand a chance
I'm too tall and skinny
For her style of romance
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
She can't get enough
Of rough and tough
The bigger the brute
The cuter the cute
Her kind of dude
Is rude and tattooed
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
Can't stand museums
The theater's a bore
She fell asleep at the opera
And started to snore
But there at the fights
When she hears the bell ding
It's all I can do
To keep her out of the ring
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
She can't get enough
Of rough and tough
The bigger the brute
The cuter the cute
Her kind of dude
Is rude and tattooed
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
Attila is her kind of honey
Never mind the sweet talk
Run along sonny
A Ghengis con man, right out of the slammer
Makes her want to teach a little bedside manner
I'm in love with a lass with no manners or class
Who likes em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
We stopped off at a bar
For a night cap or two
Everybody knew her
The place was a zoo
When the bartender came
He said I don't want no trouble
She followed his gaze and said
Make it a double
There in the corner
A big hairy beast
My ex she said
He's just been released
Walking towards us
Man what a bruiser
He looked me up and down and said
Who's this loser
Someone shouted odds
Got money I'll betch ya
60 to 1
He leaves on a stretcher
I'll take that bet I said
Stepping up to the plate
Excuse me mister
You're upsetting my date
Don't do it she cried!
You're dead if he hits you
Little did she know I knew
Kung Fu and Jujitsu
His face turned red
As he launched his attack
In two seconds flat he was
Out cold on his back
I collected my winnings
With her arms round my neck
I bought the house a drink
As I picked up the check
When we got back to her place
Things got intense
I guess the moral of the story is
Learn self-defense
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly
She can't get enough
Of rough and tough
The bigger the brute
The cuter the cute
Her kind of dude
Is rude and tattooed
She like's em big, mean, dirty, dark, and ugly