Jonathan Thomas Maiocco - Honestly Lyrics

Sorry I've been so out of touch
I know it's been a couple months
Been busy with a lot of stuff that I really can't explain
So let's small talk about nothing much
I'll make up some utopia just for you
Anything to cover up the smoke and mirrors game
'Cause I care what you think when you look at me
I love the prestige, that small luxury
I'll do what I need to make you believe
The person you see is truly happy, oh
So, every day I say I'm fine, picture-perfect
Even if it's all a lie you'll fall for it cause
I'm pretty good at getting by under the pressure
I do it damn near all the time, it's second nature
But if you looked on the inside you'd see I'm hurting
I feel the pain now all the time, this isn't working
So I compartmentalize to keep it together
But all I got are pretty lies that look good on paper
Honestly, honestly
Honestly, can't you see?
I wish that I could open up and
Tell you what I'm thinking of just for once but
It's so much easier said than done
I never follow through
No, I never follow through
'Cause I care what you think when you look at me
I love the prestige, that small luxury
Talking honestly, I'm scared that you'll leave
When you finally see I'm not what I seem, oh
So, every day I'll say I'm fine, picture-perfect
Even if it's all a lie you'll fall for it cause
I'm pretty good at getting by under the pressure
I do it damn near all the time, it's second nature
But if you looked on the inside you'd see I'm hurting
I feel the pain now all the time, this isn't working
So I compartmentalize to keep it together
But all I got are pretty lies that look good on paper
Honestly, honestly
Honestly, can't you see?
Honestly, honestly
Honestly, can't you see?
Maybe one day I'll let you in
Maybe I'll find the confidence just for you
And on that day I won't pretend
I will finally be all of me
Honestly