Will this be the death of me?
I reach my worst when this world gets the best of me
Devil's screams start to sound like a melody
God's whispers weighing on my conscious heavily, can't live up to the legacy
Rid me of this monster I've become, oh Father
Identity blurs, I've noticed I've become my father
I'm literally cursed, I don't think I can run much longer
No remedy works, I'm alive but I don't feel stronger
I've been lying to myself like I ain't crying on the inside
Dying on the inside
Flirting with a thin line
Between the edge of my own life and death via suicide
Tried to distract this mind, but attention never divides
Hopeless and I'm bleedin' as my fear starts to deepen
But then I look up to the clouds and discover my meaning
When you're broken and defeated that is plenty of reason
To pick yourself up off the ground and stand for what you believe in
Stand the f*ck up
Raise your hands high
And realize that we got God on our side
And it is for that very reason I refuse to drown
You can take me to the water but can never keep me down
So man the f*ck up
Let your eyes cry
It's only through your tears you could ever realize
That even though your enemies may knock you to the ground
They may try to take your place, but that can never take your crown
I feel a storm coming
Horns thunderin'
Skies crumblin'
Lights shutterin'
Calling my name
All in the same, I paint with different shades of gray
Until the brush portrays a portrait that displays my pain
Lost in the ways of the steps that my brother has paved
While trying to juggle the mess that all these women have made
If all of heaven rejoices when a sinner is saved
Then I pray Jehovah's happy with the man I became
And I say even though
I haven't had the heart to leave this girl alone
She's been on my mind, which gives me hope that I still have a soul
And I can be redeemed because I know the devil's got a hold
He better plan on letting go by the power of the Holy Ghost
Plenty scriptures in that book that honestly I do not know
More than most, I really just recite the words my mama told
Through the strength of Christ I know that all things are possible
So even when it hurts to keep on fighting for my life, I know
Stand the f*ck up
Raise your hands high
And realize that we got God on our side
And it is for that very reason I refuse to drown
You can take me to the water but can never keep me down
So man the f*ck up
Let your eyes cry
It's only through your tears you could ever realize
That even though your enemies may knock you to the ground
They may try to take your place, but that can never take your crown
Stand the f*ck up
Raise your hands high
And realize that we got God on our side
And it is for that very reason I refuse to drown
You can take me to the water but can never keep me down
So man the f*ck up
Let your eyes cry
It's only through your tears you could ever realize
That even though your enemies may knock you to the ground
They may try to take your place, but that can never take your crown
Okay, now I've been down for too long. Way too long
Told depression, "Get a move on, I got my groove on"
There's no way that I can do wrong, I'm in my new form
I've been living like a newborn since the blue's gone
I've been living on my cloud 9
Never taking down time
Never taking days off
Grateful that I found my
Self before I lost this
Mind or even my eyes
Even though the pain's gone
It never left my eyes
And even still, I stand the f*ck up
Raise my hands high
And realize that I got God up on my side
And I know he feels my pain and I know he sees me cry
But there's gotta be a reason why he's keeping me alive
I'm not thinking 'bout tomorrow when I'm lying up at night
Never planning my good mornings, only thinking of goodbyes
'Cause I'm not expecting anyone to remain in my life
People come in like the waves and their leaving with the tides
I've been lied to, cheated on, stabbed so many times
That I'm at the point where I don't mind handing you the knife
'Cause if it wasn't for the flames, I wouldn't be able to rise
From the ashes that she left me in, burning on the line