A Letter to Myself Video (MV)

You know what I don't get
How I can keep putting myself last
Hurting myself for others
Yet I always end up being the one to say sorry, to apologize
I think I expect too much from others
But most times I just feel like I am too much for others
My energy is all over the place, I can't seem to hold a steady pace

Yet I still hold on to others like they can help
Like they can somehow see into my brain
Feel what's in my heart and endure what's in my soul
But I wouldn't wish that on anyone
I would not give it away
Although it's a hell in its own
It's still a blessing in a way on other planes
I feel dark and empty, like the world is out to get me
But is it really? Why do I make up these scenarios
Is it all in my head? The older I get
The more I realize it is

But what do you do when you're conscious yet still asleep all at once
How do I wake up if I'm already awake
Or am I? Do I think I am, but in reality I have it all wrong
What is reality? To me I can't begin to forsee what the actuality of this plane may be
Questions in my mind testing my patience trying my time
When will I find it all, this peace I seek
Why do I dream such dreams, why can't I just f*cking breath

Yet I still hold on to others like they can help
Like they can somehow see into my brain
Feel what's in my heart and endure what's in my soul
But I wouldn't wish that on anyone
I would not give it away
Although it's a hell in its own
It's still a blessing in a way on other planes
I feel dark and empty, like the world is out to get me
But is it really? Why do I make up these scenarios
Are they all in my head? The older I get
The more I realize, it is