Jung Money$ - Closing Remarks Lyrics

I'm never gonna sit here and not say what's on my mind
I go to the pen and page, when something's wrong with my life
I already told you all I'm not the greatest rapper alive
But I let songs that I write show you what's really inside
This is the real me, I really can't make it more raw
Broken by two girls on my EP, not almighty after all
Now I sit in my head, analyzing all of my flaws
I'm scared I'm gonna mastermind my own downfall
When I can't get my life right, I always write rhymes
Saved me from suicidal thoughts four or five times
I always feel like I'm trying to catch up like I am Heinz
If I don't accomplish my goals, then everyone else was right
Holden you're a failure, you're never gonna make it
You'll never be the best, you really need to face it
My mom tells me to smile, but I really hate to fake it
I used to wear it like a mask, but now I can't take it
Kids used to call me pepperoni pizza cause of my acne
I remember days at lunch when people threw carrots at me
Never stood up to thos kids, just a divided off mathlete
Now that mathlete's killing rapping, and them bullies tryna chat me
Like "What's good, Holden? I'm glad to see you win
Waiting bumps, I'm really *bleep* with the movement
I'm happy for ya bruh, so glad that we are friends"
You gotta be kidding me, are you that stupid?
Back in high school, I started bro, I was the man
Til God said baseball wasn't for me, thought he wasn't my friend
A tumor ruined my body, and I'll never swing again
Coaches laughed at me, one day I'll laugh back on ESPN
People checking on me worried I'm the next Osama
Don't worry won't hurt yo momma
I'm just a darkm JM Dolla
Singing my stupid songs lala
Got plans to lead like Obama
Wanna please Dad and my momma
If I don't I'm an abomination for generations
Into the dark you don't want an invitation
I'd rather have a castration, than see one more fake flirtation
I much watch too much TV, cause my perspective's tainted
I'm thinking normal, but y'all make me feel like I'm mutating
Lately things ain't been going well between me and God
All the pressure on my faith is more stressful than my job
Like my family pressing it hard, my friends say it's not real
Still tryna figure it out, but does God know how I feel?
I'm out here wondering if I should drive off the road
Why doesn't God show a sign to say Holden, don't come home?
I'm losing faith real fast, where's the God I used to know?
I give everything for everyone but do I win? No!
Everything these days is all about the money and the sex
I go to bed every night praying I don't wake up the next
For all the grinding I be doing, I just want a little respect
If y'all don't want me in this life, I guess I'll see you in the next
I don't know if I can go on, I don't know if I can finish
Will my journey end early, will I fail and have to quit this?
I'll come back to my confessions, right now my head is spinning
If you listen to Introspection, that makes you a witness
Darkness in my lines, this is all my head wrote
If I finally end it all, consider this my death note
Maybe the last I'll ever say, my closing remarks
I'll never know the light again, but I'll always know the dark