Grudges Album Lyrics by Kiana Lede

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Bitter Bitch

I barely think about you now at all
But I got some problems and it's all your fault
Thought I was over it and worked it out
But I just gotta get my feelings out
Said I was fine but now a bit triggered
I really tried to let it go and be bigger
You made a mess and it left me so bitter
You telling everybody lies on Twitter

So I wrote this song but don't take it wrong
I can't have you thinking I'm still in love, I'm still in love
I'm just

Bitter, bitter, bitter (I'm still a bitter bitch)
Bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter
I swear that I'm over you
But not the shit that you put me through, I
Bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter (I'm still a bitter bitch)
Bitter, bitter, bitter, bitter
Give me a second to be petty, please
The one for you gon' always come second to me

I promise you, you'll never be over me
No matter how hard you try, you could ask the other guys, oh, I
I'll be worst regret of your life, nigga
You ain't gon' find a pussy like mine, nigga
You gonna wish you had some more time with her
And I'll say it all respectfully, but I'm
(Bitter) bitter
(Bitter) I'm so bitter, baby
Bitter, bitter, ah, ah, ah

Oh my god
I got some f*cking-
I'm traumatized
Oof
F*ck

(Dear, listener)
(The following material may be offensive)
(Listener discretion is advised)
(And to all you niggas, I'm sorry in advance)
(This shit is toxic as f*ck)

---

Irresponsible

La-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (ooh, ooh)
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la (ooh, ooh)
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la, ooh, la-la

I dove in blind, took a chance on us (us)
Gave my trust (trust), so in love (love)
And it's difficult for me to open up
You were someone I thought was careful with me
'Stead you left me in pieces (ah-ah-ah)
If this ain't where you wanted to be
You should've at least manned up and just let me be

Oh, so irresponsible
Making me fall, falling fast for you
You let me set my feelings on the loose
Knowing deep down you wouldn't follow through
Oh, so irresponsible
Taking my heart, splitting it in two
You could've left me alone but it's cool
Baby, there's some shit that you just don't do

Hope you're proud
But you got blood on your hands (on your hands, on your hands)
The one I relied on (yeah), counted on (yeah)
Dropped the ball (yeah), no remorse (yeah)
Only worry 'bout yourself (oh, yeah)
Could've played someone else, you chose me
'Cause I feel some way, yeah (yeah)
And if you weren't ready, maybe
You should've at least
Stayed your ass out in them streets

Oh, so irresponsible
Making me fall, falling fast for you
You let me set my feelings on the loose
Knowing deep down you wouldn't follow through
Oh, so irresponsible
Taking my heart, splitting it in two
You could've left me alone but it's cool
Baby, there's some shit that you just don't do

Ah, maybe, oh, maybe, that's my bad
Givin' you such an impossible task
Knowin' that you couldn't handle that, that, that, I
Only asked you to keep it one hunnid, babe
Never asked for much, just communicate
Only asked, "Please, don't do me damage"
And that you can't even manage

Oh, so irresponsible
Making me fall, falling fast for you
You let me set my feelings on the loose
Knowing deep down you wouldn't follow through
Oh, so irresponsible (oh, oh-oh)
Taking my heart, splitting it in two (woo)
You could've left me alone but it's cool
Baby, there's some shit that you just don't do

---

Promise Me

We should be done, done (done, done)
We both know that's true (that's true)
You stay with me 'cause nobody f*ck you better
You should cut me off 'cause I'm no good
Wanna leave you but the sex too good
What we gon' do about it? What we gon' do? (What we gon' do?)

On the liquor, you freaky (ha, yeah)
A lil' shawty, buss it down
You a pussy, come pick me
What am I thinkin' at? I might drown

Promise me that you'll always f*ck me
Even if you find someone
Let 'em know it belong to me
You know I'm the only one (ooh-oh, ooh-ooh)
Promise me (promise me, promise me)
I'll always be (always be)

Baby, when you want some
Bring it come, come, come (come)
But don't bring no feeling come, uh
Climb on your lap, baby, sit, sit
Baby, I'm a little thirsty, sip, sip
See these burstin' out the seam, rip, rip
Suckin' that straw, don't spit, spit
Tip top, like that dick, dick

Damn, nigga, you freaky
You know how to play around
That deeper complete me
Figure it out with your finger now

Promise me that you'll always f*ck me (ooh)
Even if you find someone
Let 'em know it belong to me (ooh)
You know I'm the only one
Promise me (promise me, promise me)
I'll always be (always be)

Always be, always be
Promise me

---

Gone

Gone
It's all gone, the peace and the romance and it's all gone
Think it was long lasting, it's all gone
You blink, it was so fast and it's all gone
It's all gone

Said we would say goodbye (goodbye)
Like it's about that time
The shit is cuttin' too deep
Can't handle too many strings
Startin' to pull out the bad in me

No lust, no touch, something got between us
Know it's (know it's), too much (too much)
Keep comin' back to it over and over again
Run out of love, 'til we don't have enough (uh, yeah)
And it's all good until it's gone (uh, yeah, uh, yeah)
'Til we can't tell what page we on (uh, yeah, uh, yeah)
We got no choice but to move on (uh, yeah, uh, yeah)
It was so good until it's gone

Gettin' too tired to trip
And now we all out of choice
Either we ride or we die
We can't keep livin' this way
I wait for something to change
How are we so close but so far away, yeah?

No lust, no touch, something got between us
Know it's (know it's), too much (too much)
Keep comin' back to it over and over again (over again)
Run out of love, 'til we don't have enough

Even though it's all bad, baby, I'm not trippin'
Tellin' all the business, mind if I chime in it?
Why your friends givin' you the high five?
Let me tell my side, with it
Girl, I tried but I'm finished
Mouth wide, full of grime, I'm a hygienist
I lost, I'm tryna stall but at what cost?
Boss won't let me take no more days off 'til my debt is paid off
And so I'm in here tryna let the pain off, tryin' not to sound bitter
The thing is, sufferin' in pain came with us
So I'm livin' with a stain, I'm with you
Know you feel like this a given, but it ain't
Like pearls and champagne, should be switchin' in the rain, girl
Let all the tears drain, strange
How you think they givin' you my name?
Is feedin' my ego, put you on this plane then get you out of Heathrow
Takin' you to Spain now we here without the S
Not feelin' our best
Blessings to the kids, yeah, they keep us in a mesh
I feel like we related, you my blood, you my flesh, ma
Ain't no tellin' where we at now
That we headed separate ways, when it jet
When I leave, girl, please, don't interject
Gone

(Bitch, I don't give a f*ck if he was a Gemini sun)
(Gemini moon, Gemini Jupiter)
(Bitch, stay the f*ck away from me)

---

Gemini Slander

One minute you want me then you don't (don't, don't, don't, don't)
Told me you want it, now you don't know
What way or which direction should we go?
See, you just keep on tryin' me

Gemini, oh, Gemini, you wastin'
Too much time but I'm not one to play with
Might as well just keep up with you in text
Indecisive, switchin' sides, so I'ma let you do that shit alone, hey
Handle that on your own
A bad bitch can't do baggage, let it go, hey
Since you never know

Gemini, oh, Gemini
Ha, ha, ha, yeah
Ha, ha, ha, yeah
Ha, ha, ha
Gemini, oh, Gemini
Ha, ha, ha (ooh-ooh)
Ha, ha, ha
Indecisive, switchin' sides, so I'ma let you so that shit alone

'Cause if you have a hard time decidin'
Then I might just hit up somebody else
Tell 'em come and swing by
Have a hell of a time
While you make up your mind
Give you hell, then wish you well

Gemini, oh, Gemini, you wastin'
Too much time and I'm not one to play with
Might as well just keep up with you in text
Indecisive, switchin' sides, so I'ma let you do that shit alone, hey
Handle that on your own
A bad bitch can't do baggage, let it go, hey
Since you never know

Gemini, oh, Gemini
Ha, ha, ha, yeah
Ha, ha, ha, yeah
Ha, ha, ha
Gemini, oh, Gemini
Ha, ha, ha (ooh-ooh)
Ha, ha, ha
Indecisive, switchin' sides, so I'ma let you so that shit alone

I'ma let you go be on your own, yeah
Obviously, I do not belong here
Can't be with someone who don't know what he wants
When I got my own things that I struggle with
There's demons in my head that I'm battlin'
Can't fight myself and you too

I need somebody who
Reassures how I feel
You should do better, baby, with your big age
Now keep me from that bullshit

---

LMK

Keep it one mill'
You know you gotta keep it real
I need all facts, one mill'
I need all facts, one mill'
Tell 'em, Kiki

I could tell this shit is changin'
You ain't gotta say it
I can tell by how you movin'
Only do shit on occasion
You went and took the script and flipped it
Nigga, I ain't even want this
It was me who you was chasin'
Now you actin' like I'm basic

You got me f*cked up
You got me f*cked up
I went and made you
Just so you switch up
The type of love that I need
Is fifty-fifty
Oh, baby
Tell me if you with it or if you ain't with me 'cause
I need to know this

Now, if not, then I'm gone (gone)
I'll find me someone else who won't do me wrong
Won't ever waste my time, if so, I'll go
But you gotta let me know
You gotta let me know
I need to know this
Now, if not, then I'm gone (gone)
I'll find me someone else who won't do me wrong
Won't ever waste my time, if so, I'll go
But you gotta let me know
You gotta let me know

Yeah, if you want that flip, flip shit just say that
You know I don't even play that
Blocked you out in the group chat
Give it to the streets, no free pics
Nigga, you a dog, nigga, you a fraud, nigga
I don't f*ck with you, no way
Gotta know what's up with you
You a dub, nigga, if you keep playin' them games

You got me f*cked up
You got me f*cked up
Gave me affection
Like I gave to ya
The type of love that I need
Is fifty-fifty
Oh, baby
Tell me if you with it or if you ain't with me 'cause
I need to know this

Now, if not, then I'm gone (gone)
I'll find me someone else who won't do me wrong
Won't ever waste my time, if so, I'll go
But you gotta let me know
You gotta let me know
I need to know this
Now, if not, then I'm gone (gone)
I'll find me someone else who won't do me wrong
Won't ever waste my time, if so, I'll go
But you gotta let me know (uh, uh)
You gotta let me know (uh, uh)
(Jump, Kiki, jump, Kiki)

Yeah, you know I need that real
Play it like you won't leave now
Yeah, you know I need that real
Keep it one hunnid, one mill', mill'
Yeah, you know I need that real
Keep it one hunnid, one mill', mill'
Yeah, you know I need that real
Tell 'em Kiki, tell 'em Kiki

---

Jealous

(ft. Ella Mai)

I ain't never been good at sharing
But with you I practice patience
And I let you do your thing 'cause I'm doing mine
I was actin' like I'm good when I know I'm lyin'

See how all them girls look at you
But I'll carry your name for you
So every time they see me, they gon' see you

I ain't gon' tell you to drop them other bitches
But drop them other bitches
I never been jealous
But f*ck it, I'm jealous
So goddamn invested
I ain't gon' tell you to make a commitment
You'll know what you're missing
That shit ain't my business
But f*ck it, I'm jealous (ah-ah-ah-ah)
F*ck it, I'm jealous

No, I ain't never been good at hidin' my feelings
I don't wanna come across too strong
I tried my best for so long
But I'd be damned if I have to share (be damned if-)
Don't make me pull up on you just to make it loud and clear
I know you do this shit on purpose (I know)
Actin' like you don't know I'm perfect for ya
You told me I'm your only person
Hate to say it but that player shit be workin', ooh, ah

See how all them girls look at you (look at you)
But I'll carry your name for you
Every time they see me
They gon' see you, ooh, ooh
I ain't

I ain't gon' tell you to drop them other bitches (ooh)
But drop them other bitches
I never been jealous
But f*ck it, I'm jealous (hey, yeah, hey, yeah)
So goddamn invested (ooh)
I ain't gon' tell you to make a commitment
You'll know what you're missing
That shit ain't my business
But f*ck it, I'm jealous (ah-ah-ah-ah jealous, yeah)
F*ck it, I'm jealous (jealous, ooh)

What did you think would happen
When you give me all this good dick?
When you keep me on some bullshit?
Let 'em try me, I'ma poll it
I've been posting pics
That ass been lookin' thick
Does it make you jealous?
I can't be the only one

You see how all them girls look at you
And I'll do what I gotta do
So every time they see me
They gon' see you

I ain't gon' tell you to drop them other bitches
But drop them other bitches
I never been jealous
But f*ck it, I'm jealous (I'm jealous, yeah)
So goddamn invested (ah, yeah)
I ain't gon' tell you to make a commitment (oh-oh-ah)
Should know what you're missing
That shit ain't my business
But f*ck it, I'm jealous (ah-ah-ah-ah)
F*ck it, I'm jealous (jealous, oh)

No, I don't trust you and I don't trust these hoes (hoes)
No, I don't trust you and I don't trust these hoes (hoes)

---

Focus

It's three in the morning, late night scrollin'
Lookin' like I'm a P.I., peekin' bitches that you like
I went through her photos, she a model, uh
See, now you playin' with my pride, f*ck me up, I can't lie

That's what you like, ain't it?
I mean, let's face it
You like that ass and them, them perfect faces
Am I enough for you? 'Cause you've been tappin'
Aaliyah and Keisha when really I need you to

Focus on me
Focus on me
I need to see ya
See your energy
So focus on me, yeah-yeah
Focus on me, uh
If I'm all you want, babe
Then make me believe it

You don't even want it, I can see it on your face
See her on your page, you ain't gotta say it
It's breakin' me down, how the f*ck I'm supposed to feel?
So, baby, speak now, if the love we got is real 'cause

That's what you like, ain't it?
I mean, let's face it
You like them curves in the, the perfect places
Am I enough for you? 'Cause you've been tappin'
Alicia and Toya when you know I want you to

Focus on me
Focus on me
I need to see ya
See your energy
So focus on me, yeah-yeah
Focus on me, uh
If I'm all you want, babe
Then make me believe it

Just focus on me
Just focus on me
Focus on
Just focus on me
Just focus on me

---

Damage

Meet you back all day in it
Blowin' up my line 'cause you're craving it now
Only missin' what you had because it's gone
Took your number out of my favorites
Promise you this time I ain't playing around
Nah, your sweet nothings won't find a home

I gave you the coldest shoulder
'Cause convos only bring you closure (closure)
And that's the last thing I think you deserve
My silence takes all your composure (ha)
It's funny how you wanna talk things over

But don't you think you've done enough damage?
Enough damage
Don't you think you've done enough damage?
Enough damage
Uh, yeah

Don't forget (don't forget)
You're the one (you're the one)
Who made the decision for us
Reminiscin' on all the times you told me that I was doin' too much
So I followed your lead (ah, ah)
Never cared about my needs
So I catered to myself all like
You would over and over and

I gave you the coldest shoulder
'Cause convos only bring you closure (closure)
And that's the last thing I think you deserve
My silence takes all your composure (ha)
It's funny how you wanna talk things over

But, don't you think you've done enough damage?
Enough damage
Don't you think you've done enough damage?
Enough damage
Uh, yeah
Uh, yeah yeah

God, I hate that I f*cking like her
Don't like her, don't show your f*cking emotion, uh

---

Too Far

We were cool (cool), we were close
Lines we would never cross, platonic lies we told
We were friends, good intent
So you hopped in my bed and we did it again
Again and again

Once you seen me naked, all the moods was broken
Broken limitations once you had me soakin'
Forbidden before we taste it, now we can't erase it

To be honest, I
I think that we went too far, too deep to turn back
We went too far, too deep to turn back

Wrapped up in your sheets, you on top of me
Testin' all the waters sinkin'
I think we went too far, too deep to turn back

And I'd be lyin' if I said I regret it, but I don't
I loved every minute, love when you in it
Who knew that good dick would come from a friendship, yeah?
I'm back in your bed, got me comin' again and again
And again and again, but then again

Once we started kissin', everything was different
Caught each other slippin' once you had me drippin'
Caught up in our feelings, thought I was mistaken
But now I know, I know that we

Went too far, too deep to turn back
We went too far, too deep to turn back

Wrapped up in your sheets, you on top of me
Testin' all the waters sinkin'
I think we went too far, too deep to turn back

---

Deeper

I'm craving your devotion
Gave you the key and that's rare
'Cause I don't let just anyone in
I'm glad you're scratching the surface
But you could do a little more
'Cause underneath's a mountain

Oh, baby
Please just take your time
L-L-Love, love me right there yeah
Love me right there, yeah
It's paradise once you're inside
L-L-Love, love me right there yeah, yeah

I want you to go deep
Don't be scared, baby
I wanna see you go deep
Don't be scared, baby
I'm gon' make it worth your while
Come and kiss my flaws
Seduce my mind
Hope you got stamina for life
Baby, go deep
I wanna feel you go deeper, deeper

And breaking down my walls when it don't come easy, babe
Gotta know me in and out (out)
Hold it down (down)
No pullin' out
My walls need breaking
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Can you love me naked?
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
'Cause this part of me
They don't get to see

Oh, baby
Please, just take your time
L-L-Love, love me right there yeah (love me, baby)
Love me right there, yeah
It's paradise once you're inside
L-L-Love, love me right there yeah, yeah

I want you to go deep
Don't be scared, baby
I wanna see you go deep (yeah)
Don't be scared, baby
I'm gonna make it worth your while
Come and kiss my flaws
Seduce my mind
Hope you got stamina for life
Baby, go deep
I wanna feel you go deeper, deeper
I wanna feel you go deeper, deeper
I wanna feel you go deeper, deeper

---

Grudges

Always overwhelmed
It's a constant conversation in my head
Swear I been needin' help
Gotta do with all these regrets and reflects

Say to your face, you cause me pain
Tried to move on, but I do it wrong
Carried the weight, they say I'm strong
But it's goin' on

My heart and my spirit and the way that I love
Is weighin' on the days I'm feelin' over-under
I'm over all the trauma that turns into drama
I got grudges, I think you should know
All these crutches, but I can't let go, I
I got grudges

Feel like I've been through hell
Only one I can trust in is myself (myself)
I tried to keep the faith
But I keep losin' faith in everybody else

I should say to your face, you cause me pain
Tried to move on, but I do it wrong (but I do it wrong)
Carried the weight, they say I'm strong
But it's goin' on

My heart and my spirit and the way that I love
Is weighin' on the days I'm feelin' over-under
I'm over all the trauma that turns into drama
I got grudges (I got grudges), I think you should know (and I think you should know)
All these crutches, but I can't let go
I got grudges (I got grudges)

I got grudges (grudges)
I got grudges

(I got grudges)
I've got grudges
(I got grudges) grudges

(I got)

---

Deserve

The sad part is I'll blame myself
Thinkin' I could've done something else
Put the memories on the shelf
Makin' me feel like I need some help
I stay home and buy every Honda Civic
You stuck on my mind like you parasitic
Turn my own bed to my hell
How you gon' kill me, then cry for yourself?

If I never see you again
You knew the fact is
You'll never forget
I hope you get what you deserve
I hope you feel all
The f*cking hurt and time makes it worse
'Cause I know you'll never learn
I hope you get what you deserve

Oh, oh
What you deserve

(Hey, uh, I'm so sorry)
(Really wanna talk, I didn't know anything was wrong)
(So, uh, but you're absolutely right)
(There's, there's no amount of sorry I could say)
(I didn't know how upset you were)
(Um, the morning felt fine to me and there's really no excuse)
(My heart hurts 'cause I really didn't know I hurt you)
(And I, I know I hurt you more emotionally or whatever)
(Uh, I really wanna hear what you have to say, okay?)
(So please, call me back, please)

---

Same Type

I ain't a saint or nothin'
But too many niggas wanna take me down
Can't count on my hands, I gotta double up, yeah
Another one for the count
Let's start with my dad
Mean no disrespect
Then to my ex
He made me a mess
And it never ends
Count, count, count 'em up

It's so sad, but it's true
That this shit ain't nothing new, new

Take, take, take, yeah, they take too much
One day blowin' me kisses, then they gon' miss it
Yeah, they gonna hype you up
Trappin' my trust then end up leavin' me
Overcompensated, complicated, f*cking jaded
And I don't know why
I try when they all the same type
I try
I try when they all the same type

I seen the good in you
But sometimes bad people do good things and
Can't even see it's cruel
I don't trust how much that I don't trust you
Now anybody move
Think that twistin' and controllin'
Prolly got some morals missin'
And I can't tell who from who, they all

Take, take, take, and then take too much
Runnin' 'round blowin' me kisses, then they gon' miss it
Yeah, they gonna hype you up
Trappin' my trust and end up leavin' me
Overcompensated, contemplatin', f*cking jaded
And I don't know why
I try when they all the same type
I try when they all the same, hey
It's the stupid same mistake, hey
Ain't nobody else to blame (ain't nobody else to blame)
Ain't nobody else to blame

---

Where You Go

Lately, I have tears cloudin' up my eyes
Comes out of nowhere, middle of a conversation
Waitin' for it and not a clear sky (clear sky)
I'm underwater

Wonder if it's all because of you
I got close to givin' up
Somehow it's all because of you
It's funny when it comes to us
Ooh

Whenever you're cold, I'm shiverin'
Whenever you're stoned, I'm hoverin'
It's like whenever you're gone, I'm losin' it
But baby, I'll go where you go
Whenever you fall, I'll fall behind
Whenever you're stuck, I see red lights
It's like whenever you're gone, I'm not alright
'Cause baby, I'll go where you go
I'll go where you go

I can't get out of bed in the morning now, if you don't, ah, ah, mm
I can't smile, I don't see no more good in me now, if you don't
'Cause

Lately, I have tears cloudin' up my eyes
Comes out of nowhere, middle of a conversation
Waitin' for it and not a clear sky (clear sky)
I'm underwater

Whenever you're cold, I'm shiverin'
Whenever you're stoned, I'm hoverin' (yeah, yeah)
It's like whenever you're gone, I'm losin' it
Like baby, I'll go where you go
Whenever you fall, I'll fall behind
Whenever you're stuck, I see red lights
Whenever you're gone, I'm not alright (now that you're gone)
'Cause baby, I'll go where you go
Now baby, I'll go where you go

Now, baby, I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go
I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go
I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go (go)
Now, baby, I'll go where you go
Now, baby, I'll go where you go

---

Closure

Crazy how much has happened to me in the past year
A broken heart, anxiety, and ocean tears, but
I've been feelin' better each day
Overcomin' all my pain
Close to sayin' I'm okay
A little more and more everyday
But I came so far from where I began
So it just takes time
But it will get better

Better to let go
Oh, I gotta let it close
When one door opens
For my peace of mind
Let it go
Oh, I gotta say it's over
Get that closure
For my peace of mind

I have to learn to be alone and get out my head
Get to know the true me all alone in my bed, yeah
Take a look in the mirror and see all this
If I had you and lost you, I'd be shit
And even when things ain't goin' alright
Take a breather, baby girl, 'cause it's alright

Better to let go
Oh, I gotta let it close
When one door opens
For my peace of mind
Let it go
Oh, I gotta say it's over
Get that closure
For my peace of mind

I gotta say that
Get that
For my peace of mind
Oh
Oh-oh

---

Magic

Maybe we could make some magic, yeah
Something that could feel so classic, ayy
Only if you let it happen, mm
Maybe we could make some magic
Magic, yeah

Boy, you got me feelin' like Friday
Feel like I never been this high, babe
Then you wanna let it go sideways
I'ma let you know I'd rather have you be silent
But, baby, what a combination
You and me, can't you see my frustration? Yeah, yeah, oh
Don't need no hesitation, no conversation
Oh, baby, quit bein' so cynical, cynical
I mean, obviously I'm into you, into you
Oh, won't you help me?
Tell me what is a conundrum-drum? Yeah
Know I ain't askin' for way too much
Just wanna see what we become

Maybe we could make some magic (ooh-ooh), yeah
Something that could feel so classic (ooh-ooh), ayy
Only if you let it happen (ooh-ooh), mm
Maybe we could make some magic, magic

Maybe we could try to fire (magic, magic)
Baby, we could burn it up (magic, magic, magic)
Got me beggin' to be your spark (magic, magic, magic) oh
Maybe we could make some (magic, magic)
Maybe we could make some magic