Kain - Empty Lyrics

I don't know how it happened, but it just f*cking did
It was so easy when I was a kid
Growing up had come with so many doubts
My insecurity had a special kind of clout
It was in one ear and right out the other
Surely they lie just to make me feel better
I started raising my standards to prove myself
But I didn't realize what it was doing to me
I was raising the bar before I could even grab it
The end got farther while the weights got bigger
It started leaking into everything else
It wasn't just what I was doing, but it was myself
I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw
I wasn't enough
I wanted to fix it
Like a switch turned on, it was all I could think about
What I ate, when I ate, I wanted complete control
Starve
But I had none
Binge
The voices screamed
Purge
You're not good enough
Repeat
You're not enough
I'd convinced myself this was what I needed to do
And I needed to face it alone, it was my burden
My brain was so foggy everything became a blur
Always tired and confused, cold and alone
I couldn't allow people to see me like this
So I put on a mask, but I wasn't me anymore
I was the doctor and the patient, self-diagnose the situation
But the voice was always there
Beckoning me to get back inside the cage, promising security and happiness
I knew it was wrong to listen, and yet
Demons call my name, promising life inside the cage
My thoughts turning dark, but somehow I was not afraid
Starve
And that's what scared me the most
Binge
The voices screamed
Purge
You're not good enough
Repeat
You're not enough
I don't care much for myself
But I want to exist for others
To help those who are in need
The way I wish they'd help me
I don't have a reason why
And yet I just keep on going
Get up, time after time
I may be weak, but I have not died
Empty
Look how in control I am
Empty
Look how strong I've become
Empty
Look how much I've improved
Empty
I know this is what I want