charli xcx Video (MV)

I am tired i am depressed but i still fly to london last minute try to catch a glimpse of her

I arrived and i uber to the gay club but she left 15 minutes ago before i arrive but it's fine because i tried

I stayed and party a bit by myself, chatted to strangers, followed his instagram and that's all. i drank a little bit more then crash in my friend's place

The next day i feel exhausted but she posted a pop up address for a pre-game venue

I was so tired but i still decided to go because i am already invested so i have to

I arrived and take pictures, talked to her fans, visited the venue and got the merch and finally she arrives

I managed to get into the venue and selfie with her, i'm glad i did and she seems shy

But, now i'm back in my room in ireland thinking why am i still depressed

I thought it'd really helped my mood but i guess it was never about her, it's about myself

I chat with one of her american fans online, he is cute but he has mental problems just like me which is not a bad thing and i like him so we chatted non-stop

I feel sad that he couldn't get the ticket for the nyc album signing so i got him a ticket for the q&a section in the cinema

He arrived in nyc and his hotel was cancelled because of the card problem

I don't know why but i booked him a room, maybe just like charli xcx sings, sympathy is a knife

He doesn't reply me now. i don't know if he will ever pay me back but he gave me the company i keep looking for, i'm just lonely empty

A gay lonely empty gay who likes to listen to charli xcx in my adulthood