KGB Da God - M O O N R O C K Lyrics

I'm Always thinking what if
Go to sleep wake up and I'm thinking again
Same old loop, it's like I live in a gif
It's cool, I work hard, to show you my gifts
I swear to god I write in ink that I draw from wrist
And if my words don't tell it, then let me paint you a pic
Red Splash, blue dash, bring the purp to the mix
A little fire with my greens, just a chef in Kict
Sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my shit
Because you need to hear the music and Im sleeping with it
My archive big, but I don't really feel the music
They say you got it, don't use it, and then you bound to lose it
But I could never loose it
I just lose the confidence within myself to do it
The pen is steady moving
Like a mind within it's self or hidden entities that move it
The voice inside my head just asking me what im doing
I'm fighting my depression, only way is through the music
Can't remember when me and depression did the introducing
Just remember how long I been living with it
And I know how much it's just so unforgiving
Ain't no grand opening or cutting up the ribbing
It just hit me like a brick I'm drowning no swimming
And I feel like it's just me and myself
There's ppl around no one willing to help then anxiety kicks and they watching me fail
When in the the real they all doing themselves
They ain't paying me no mind
They saying they don't really have the time
No phone calls, voicemails on my line and that leaves me one thought on my mind
I think I should end it
I'm getting sick of pretending
This happy ending too far, don't see it up in my vision
I'm loosing the main objective of my god damn mission
I'm lost
And I find, that I'm cutting myself in the dark
I black out, don't remember the path that I walked
Cash in the bank, pull up, I go and withdraw
I go away in my mind, like I study abroad
I get pissed, cus I know I could just end I all
Just leave my mother, my brother, sister and all of y'all
How many times my sister saved my life with phone calls
That second thought stopped me from turning phones off
Now I, feel like I'm trapped in my mind again
Turn to the left, roll up, my only friend
I don't pass, I smoke it from end to end
Sedated, I feel like I can breath again
I see the world in a haze, That's the filter I need
Don't wanna subside with my thoughts, so I give in to the green
Because I know my legacy is what will grow from my seeds
But I'm blocked
So it's nothing coming outta me
I'm feeling like an empty vessel
Like I been used up by a demon
Then it up and left me
But just to make the matters worst
It left the memories of when it f*cking wore me like a costume, so I get the message
And everyday is just battle for survival
I'm fighting for the title
Don't gotta enemy
Cus My reflection is my rival
I'm thinking to myself how did I end up in this spiral
I never thought I'd be facing myself for survival