I told them niggas keep they eyes on me
Lotta love disguised as hate they tried to hide from me
I ain't get to say goodbye ran outta time on me
Been so caught up in the mix I lost my mind on me
And I been thinking about the way we was living
My momma drinking while we facing eviction
I got my cousin on the calls while he chillin in prison
Money on his books what I gotta get him for Christmas
No visitations in a minute been on the road tryna get it
Gifts I got for Christmas I'm at the pawn shop tryna flip em
Everybody who gotta opinions never lived my conditions
I had them Roaches on the ceilings CPS at my building
Ain't smiled or cried in a minute I been numb to the feelings
I was dying how I'm living tryna get me a million
Opportunities never came
No sunshine only rain
Talking the sky hopeless wishes for a change
Every chance was getting high was never sober through the pain
I had this Nina on my side I got accustomed to the game
Cuz if my cousin wasn't clutching then I'd prolly write his name
Across the sky
So many battles we done fought I'm asking why
Cuz you ain't been through what I been through
Gotta hustle cuz the rent due
So many times I ain't get to say goodbye before they left you
Promises that fell through
Lies they try to sell you
Problems you just hide inside your mind n kill ya mental
Crying out for help but wasn't no help they every sent you
So now every time you writing so much pain into this pencil
Cuz you said you was gon get it with everything that's stacked against you
So you keep that shit in mind every time you gotta vent to
Starving and freezing watching the ceiling for hours
Them niggas cut off the power taking cold ass showers
My soul these demons devoured
Graves littered with flowers
My best friend killed herself that shit put courage in a coward
Trauma throughout adolescence
Birthdays were unpleasant
No I don't want no presents
Just my friend back from heaven
Attempted murder on me before the age eleven
You'd think i'd be closer to god
My grandpa was a reverend
They assume i'm straight but never ask me
Slow death on my plate served by a banshee
Everything is not okay not fine and dandy
Eyes on everything but losing you was the last thing
I ever wanted
Dressed in all black miserable at your ceremony
Why the only one I cared about they had to take from me
Everyday i'm missing you I just hope you pray for me
Everyday i'm missing you I just hope you pray for me
Cuz you ain't been through what I been through
Gotta hustle cuz the rent due
So many times I ain't get to say goodbye before they left you
Promises that fell through
Lies they try to tell you
Problems you just hide inside your mind n kill ya mental
Crying out for help but wasn't no help they every sent you
So now every time you writing so much pain into this pencil
Cuz you said you was gon get it with everything that's stacked against you
So you keep that shit in mind every time you gotta vent to
Never had no shit to lose I never moved wit a mission
My momma crib ain't have no food ain't follow rules had to get it
I done see my best friends lose they soul to the system
So many times I lost hope I was so sick of wishing
My homies frozen getting older in the coldest of prison
So many years I wasn't sober focus lost by the minute
I was chosen as a solider made me the toughest of niggas
Blindfolded I was hopeless but I still got the vision
My Eyes closed n I was focused tryna change my position
Cuz I was holding onto woes n broken hope intermixing
Many scars I never show em never noticed me tripping
Many sins I know I'll never be forgiven
I talk to god n I know that he don't listen
Cuz I only come to him every time a nigga slippin
Fallen can't get up
So When I'm tripping can you call me when I can't pick up
I had the vision n when I saw it said I can't slip up