My intuition tell me we in danger
Mary and liquor turned me to a slave, yeah
Broke off the shackles but cant hide the pain no
I just want the pain to go away
Grandma dementia turned me to a stranger
She on the meds, she lookin' spacey
Moment of clarity she told me baby
I just want the pain to go away, like
Heaven was missing an angel
They say you changing I say they crazy
I see the same
Big mamma taught me everything, you know
How to love, how to sing
On my neck I etch your name
That wont ever fade away
This perfection we be chasin'
You the closest thing to it
Introduce myself to you like
You aint used to let me sleep in your room when thunderstorms used to freak me out, and you would just sing me gospel songs till I passed out. Showed me what unconditional love was all about.
First memory domestic violence,
Mamma drove herself to the hospital
Ain't nobody take this shit like I did
Used to want the whole world to feel like I'm feeling
Back when daddy said he lost his mind
And we so alike that's a terrifying feeling
Never used to see eye to eye
Thats ironic cuz i got your eyes nigga
Face broke into a million pieces,
And they left a scar behind just to haunt me
Imagine talkin' to your crush with war wounds,
She lookin' at you like a f*ckin monster
Finally ready to talk about it,
Ay, finally ready to talk about it
Ay, finally ready to talk about it
Finally ready to talk about it
Ay, finally ready to talk about it
Oh lord, won't you send me some peace
Cause ain't no kumbaya here
I promise Chacha tuition to Harvard, look
So I can't die here
She used to praise the ground I walked on
Can time heal the damage I did in my absence?
When I shut down and pushed them all away
Cause I couldn't cope
Aint seen my auntie fist a stroke
Can't even look her in her eyes or
Justify why I went ghost
Big mamma's funeral, the final time we spoke
No family ties, I walk that rope
Can I rebuild the bonds I broke?
Can I be free when the fours pop up?
Realign my home, realize my goals,
Try find my soul, try to clear my conscious
Why the new shit a little more honest?
I want my auntie to walk again
Holidays never gon' be the same
Tryna be stronger for mamma nem,
Tears streaming down her face so contagious
Matriarchs in my bloodline
Working double time tryna cover pain
Pops around never put him down
Wish I coulda seen em both everyday
I had mamma when I needed daddy
I had daddy when I needed mamma
Never had a voice, never had a say, never had a choice
I found a platform to free all my pain
I'm on that block and I'm showing my brave
You look away when you run into satan
I look that f*ck nigga right in his face
Fear is illogical, fear is impossible
F*ck is you talkin' to?
God in my veins
I done been shot at boy,
I think I died and came back as a prophet
But I just can't tell
I just can't tell
I done been right on the edge
Like f*ck it boy I'm bout' to end it all
Phone ringin' on the edge of the bed
I'd prolly be dead if he didn't call
Cant get these thoughts out me head
High and dry but I can never fall
High and dry but I can never fall
Know my face prolly say it all