august 17th (a promise <3) Video (MV)

The first time I hit a vape, it was a couple years ago
I was with my ex-best friend
Blew that puff bar aerosol straight in the wind
I kinda think that's where the craving for the smoking began
I started taking vapes from my friends' bag, yeah I admit it
I don't think it was the nicotine as much as the feelin'
That flavor that you gettin' from the vape that you hittin'
Tryna hide that thing and hope them people don't catch you slippin'
I hid the first one on the nightstand
And I hid the second in my school bag to puff it in the back of the theater
Tryna hide from other students and avoid Mr. Teacher
I was teacher's star student and he ain't catch me either
I would use it in my room and then I'd spray the Febreze
Hide it under my pillow, they never took it from me
Because they never saw it
Packed my things and headed to the South, I went to college
I'm livin' on my own now

Let's explore the city, get the keys, I'm drivin'
I'd hit my friends' vapes when they let me just so I could try it
Told myself that I would hit the vapes but never buy it
Little did I know that I'm naive and I was surely lyin'
Bought them straight off of my friend cuz she was tryna quit
Took her addiction, she was left with all the benefits
But I would smoke them just for fun, not to get hitched
And that was working till that December depression hit
Started hitting nic to ease my pain
I thought my vape was the umbrella to all the rain
It'd make it go away
And I found the Mary 'round the same time
I had smoked before but I just didn't get the same highs
Now I found a plug, bought a pipe, started smoking every night
Thought with everything considered it's easier to be high
Then be sober and to deal with the realities of life

Started drinking, with the weed it was hitting, I feel aight
Now I'm partying to feel sum'
But then I smoke till I feel numb
Eyes blurry, can't see nun'
Struggling to stand up straight while on my own
I start thinking that I'm too messed up to walk home
I start walkin' through the woods and I can feel that I'm trippin'
It had rained so it was muddy and I get to the slippin'
Took some time and took some effort but I made it to my home
And got sad when I walked in and realized that I was alone
I don't have a roommate, I don't have a friend
I wish that I could tell to y'all the state that I was in
Then I texted my best friend, she was asleep
I texted her all my feelings, threw up, and slept in a heap

She texted back that next morning, and she asked what happened
Told her everything I did and I felt, and she was saddened
She was worried bout me, told me this happens too often
She's taken care of me in the past when I've greened and been coughing
She said it's scary how I'm acting, I ain't livin' right
So she'll stop being my friend if this is how I live my life
I wanted to be mad 'cause I thought she picked a fight
But I couldn't because when I thought about it she was right
I promised her that I'd get better and learn my limits
And I'm grateful that through everything I had her forgiveness

Then I went back to my parents' crib to live for a bit
I brought 2 vapes with me so they both would get some hits
One day I sat down with my mom and brought her dinner on the plate
We talked through a bunch of things and she said, "Son I know you vape"
Said that it would smell like smoke around my room when she'd visit
I got defensive, I denied it, I said, "Ma you just trippin''"
But I knew she was worried and the reason in fact
She talked to me 'bout my brother vaping a couple months back
She said he tried it, asked if I did cuz she didn't get the craze
I said I didn't and I said he's probably going through a phase
And I tried to change the topic cuz to my mother I hate lyin'
But she wouldn't let it go, I remember she kept pryin'
She was talkin' bout the dangers, then the weed that he smokes
She said she's worried bout his health and honestly I kinda froze
Cuz I would smoke the same stuff he smoked, so I'm no greater
So tell me pastor who am I to judge thy neighbor?

I was in the Netherlands with the fam on vacation
Brought my vape along to satisfy the oral sensation
I was in a convenience store when it caught my eye
A nicotine-free vape for $12.99
I thought it would be perfect, I tried to sneak and cop it
But I didn't carry cash or have my card in my wallet
My mom saw me looking, she took me outside
We had a conversation bout the vaping for the first time
She told me she's worried
I told her I get it
I'm not addicted to the nicotine, I just like the feeling
She didn't believe me, and I understood
It sounded like an addict tryna cope as he could
So I looked her in the eyes so she knew I was honest
I took her hands and told her that I'd make her a promise
August 17th, I'll put the vape down forever
And I promise to take care of myself and of my liver
You gon' see me grow up, give you a grandkid or two
This is a promise for me and this is a promise to you