SUMMER Video (MV)

Ever fall in a state
Where your feelings just complain
Wave after wave
Slowly drowning in depression maybe
Maybe go live a life so happy
Its gleaming, skin bleeding
Refresh the page reading
Bout' my insecurities
Delusion, you know it
Head in circles, writing how I knew this
Life is, so lifeless, nightmares, so violent
At the palm of your hands you drop it

Taking all my time
Thoughts that linger 'side my mind
Knives on wrist, noose on neck
Plan another day, waiting for my end

All of my pain never fade away
Find another man, for f*cks sake
Speaking to god
She be telling me that my lifes a disgrace
F*ck if you know bout my pace

Thinking bout you and face
All of my wrongs, all of my aches
Why do I run in these circles
Wondering all of this hate
In my head to myself
Thinking how to kill myself
Painful feeling in my head

Cause I love the pain it's amazing
Thoughts of you just amaze me
Stuck in this rut
All of my feelings don't phase me anymore how they used to
So numb, so discrete
Live in the shadows
So no one remembers me
I embarrass me

Still sleep on your favorite side of bed
Still wishing I was better off dead
And all of these graces of glory
Burning this down to my head

Cause everything is temporary
Nothing worth living
I know that you hate me
I know that I struggle

We all know its mental
We all know I took a big toll

I love feeling down
The pain is amazing

I'm stuck in the past
I'm hating the future
I love what I had
I hate what I need now
Hate what I have deep down
Never forgetting the lock in the back of my head
RIP

Listen, all of my voices be saying shit
Wondering how I'm supposed to forget
How to just factory reset
Be a new person
When all of my thoughts be lingering tryna sleep
Downing these shots like they help me relieve
Cutting my wrists, sick of my ways
Holding everything to myself
Pushing away

Sorry for being what I am today
Thinking bout candy paint
I been losing weight
Never be eating for couple days straight
Doing my thang, reliving my past in all of these ways
Starting that summer of 2018
RIP