Lanternfly - The Indoctrination Into Nothing Lyrics

Outside my window I saw
Two people hugging
It lasted a long time and you could tell
It was goodbye for quite a while
I found it quite beautiful and pondered
Whether this was their indoctrination
Into love, loss, and grief
Losing something lovely yet brief
This indoctrination theory
I've been pondering
Whilst the newfangled valley
Of flesh surrounds me
It's such a small thing
You can't make sense of it
But I wonder what she meant
When it was in that tone she said,
"Oh you"
"Oh you"
I miss laughing that much
I miss being so sure
Though what am I missing?
What am I nostalgic for?
To see the surface or face the facts;
The two sides of my mind
I often choose to f*ck myself blind
God, to return to that ignorance
Except far less mean
And pretend everyone loves me
For their perception of me
Isolation causes naturally
The mind to wander
A frailty so deep it
Dilutes man to machine
And deepens the connection
The soul has to the cock
The amount of info at my tips
Knows no mercy nor how to stop
I do everything with
Only myself in mind
And yet I'm never pleased
With the result I find
I beg and plead for some
New ambition or being
But fear ever leaving
These tears aren't mine
I promise you my dear
I carry them for two
When my dents are conceived
This indoctrination theory
I wonder to myself
Is this entire being
Singular without help?
I remember a past boy
With ambitions so naive
And yet I have to
Commend his sincerity
Suddenly I launched
Myself into this pile
Or should I say I kept
Myself from seeing it at all?
I've hit a wall
I've hit a wall
The past is nothing
But a black purgatory
A blank canvas
For me to paint
My ideal life and
Who I wish I was
Romanticizing a dead boy
From long ago
Perhaps all these memories are
Just me lying to myself with hyperbole
Perhaps this indoctrination theory is
Nothing but a scapegoat to
Explain why I'm unhappy with myself
How should I explain
This indoctrination theory?
A singular moment in
Which you are conceived
Your entire life and
The person you become
Is based around in
That moment your decision
And I guess in my moment
I didn't even react
For my indoctrination
Seems to be into nothing
I'd say that's how I feel however
As I play these I notes
I feel the aforementioned swell
One could consider it
Massively overwhelming
A mass catharsis
Orgasmic and surreal
Consider that the
Birth of Ben as Lanternfly
Naming myself after an
Invasive species seems to clarify