There's a woman with a coat of fur
She's got shiny dark black hair
And the deer head's eyes no longer see
And DH Lawrence is looking at me
There's a Phillipino gal
And a woman with a chest of pearls
A pheasant underneath the dead man's chair
And a bare knuckle fighter from old Goose Fair
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
There's a piano that no-one plays
Everybody's gotta have their say
Swapping Haggis for blocks of Brie
The woman in red she's looking at me
The guy with vintage guitar
He came in a green sports car
And the fella with the femme fatale
He just got outa hospital
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
And the fires are always burning
Now the heads they are turning
Cos' the lass who's a bit of a looker
They say on Friday she works as a hooker
The gal with the tattoo high on her thigh
She trades looks for some meat pie
And the fella from the Irish rock band
He's outside smoking contraband
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there
In the bar, in the local bar
They're all there, they're all there, they're all there