lessur - Kid Inside Lyrics

Do I really miss being young
Or do I just miss the feeling
Of not having responsibility
And always staring up at the ceiling
Instead of worrying about personal demons
But nowadays with the passing of the seasons
I'm finding solace in constant dreaming
Fantasizing about the idea of leaving
And I remember sitting in the school bathroom
Skipping lunch for another afternoon fix
If I cut too deep I don't think I'd be missed
Wearing another hoodie to cover up my wrist
And I still remember from time to time
That I'd write a lengthy goodbye note
Wishing that I could find a rope
To try and see if I could float

I wish I didn't get in this place everyday
Where everything in life seems so gray
Where suicide seems like the only answer
Where life seems to be a spiraling disaster
I can't forget all the shit that I've done
I can't forgive all the shit that I've done
I need happiness, I'll sit here and beg
With all these f*cking scars up and down my leg

I need, I need
Relief, relief

What happened to the kid inside
The happiness, excitement and spirit has died
What happened to the kid inside
I said I wanted to grow up, I lied
What happened to the kid inside
The passion, motivation and spirit has died
What happened to the kid inside
I guess wasn't ready for the ride

I woke up this morning
Realized that my life was boring
And if I died without any warning
There wouldn't be very much mourning
I'm hoping that hoping will fix things
And I pray happiness is what it brings
Cause one day I wanna be as happy as I pretend to be
That's all I've ever really wanted to see
I've forgotten how the sun looks and feels
Laying in this bed skipping countless meals
No motivation to do anything anymore
But to open up the orange bottle in my drawer
As a kid I was taught there's a heaven and a hell
And whenever you die they'll hear the toll of the bell
But I soon began to realize the hell is inside the mind
And the heaven is eventual happiness to find

I wish I didn't get in this place everyday
Where everything in life seems so gray
Where suicide seems like the only answer
Where life seems to be a spiraling disaster
I can't forget all the shit that I've done
I can't forgive all the shit that I've done
I need happiness, I'll sit here and beg
With all these f*cking scars up and down my leg

I need, I need
Relief, relief

Relief, relief
Relief, relief

What happened to the kid inside
The happiness, excitement and spirit has died
What happened to the kid inside
I said I wanted to grow up, I lied
What happened to the kid inside
The passion, motivation and spirit has died
What happened to the kid inside
Guess I wasn't ready for the ride