I'm like girl that was great
Talk about a connection
Am I alone in my praise
Do you share my assessment?
She like yeah that was nice
I enjoyed myself
Great, yeah
She like can you reach that shelf
For my phone, I'll take care the alarm
I'm like "oh, for the morning, like to sleep?"
She like yeah we just had sex
What did you think?
I was just gonna f*ck you and leave?
No, I - I hadn't thought that far ahead
But of course, can I get you a T-Shirt?
OH, can you not tickle my hair?
It's just a personal thing, it's not you
Okay sorry for doing it
No, it's not a personal thing, it's not you
Okay cool. Yeah
Uhhh, so you're from Minnesota?
Only thing I know is that it's cold
Break it down, how's it compare
To living in LA?
Well, I can't compare them they're so different
Y'know what I'm sayin?
Yeah, for sure
She like apples to oranges
Yeah, well you can still compare them but I hear ya
What's the deal with your family? Got any siblings?
She like I have a brother, I'm like oh what he do
She like he in the Army. Oh, true
Uhh, do you f*ck with the war?
She like huh, what did you just say?
Huh, like just now?
Yeah
Do you f*ck to the war?
No I don't f*ck with the war
I'm like no I don't f*ck with the war
Just don't know how to react to the forces
I should have just thanked you of course
Uh, why would you thank me?
Uh... I guess I assumed it would extend to the families but okay
While we on the topic
I been actually thinking about some shit
About the Army and Navy
What if tomorrow is the day
That the f*cking aliens came
And invaded our nation?
Like, would we even be able to f*ck with their shit?
Like do we have the type of weaponry to f*ck with their shit?
So not at all, would they just walk up in this motherf*cker
Laughin at us, and blastin at us
And makin everybody disentegrate and assimilate
Without a hint of intimidation?
And can we be doin some shit to make they heart race?
Granted I don't know the alien heart, but
You get what the f*ck I'm sayin?
Like what the f*ck would it be like?
Would they be like Earth go hard?
Or would it be just another conquest?
Or would they be like damn earth go hard
They was harder than Simian
You ever talk to your brother about this type of stuff?
Then she like no
I'm like well what you think?
She like I don't concern myself with hypotheticals that couldn't be
I'm like girl what you mean?
She like I don't believe
In the war?
In aliens
Oh... hold up
Wait, hold up
Hold up
Girl what you sayin?
That all of the life in the universe happens to be where you stand?
I guess
What an enormous coincidence that shit would be
Do you see what I'm sayin?
I can't hear what you're sayin
Well the whole universe is expandin
There are infinite galaxies
Why would we be the anomaly?
She like that's no coincidence
I call that shit god
I'm like oh you're religous, bitch
You think it's all god
No I know it's all god
No I know that there might be a god
First off nobody knows there's a god
Girl I think we should drop this
No, what's goin on in your brain right now?
Brain.. uhh, brain on some other shit tho
I been all up in the club for the year hey brain
I been killin shit don't mind me
I'm just top flight
I could sure use a Sprite
I'm thirsty as f*ck
Who gettin money?
That's brain
Who make decisions?
That's brain
Who make the hit's
That's been brain
Who run the whole operation
That be brain so
Brain, can you just get back to the issue here
Uh, can you just remind the brain?
You're such an idiot, we're talking about God
And if he exists
Don't call brain names
The brain couldn't recall
But if I'm not mistaken the bitch on the left
Guaranteed there's a god
I believe in a god, yes
So god never wrong
God never wrong, right?
Yeah, that's like the whole point
Brain just get there, please
Hold up. So god made the earth
And god was like hold up, this shit is boring
It need more shit
God was like imma put dinosaurs on that bitch
Dinosaurs on that bitch
Then he like why'd I put dinosaurs on that shit
What is your brain even saying?
Can he get to the point
Hold up brain you just did it
God ain't wrong what the f*ck was he thinking
About what?
Bitch the dinosaurs
He made the Earth for them
But then he like nah
Dinosaurs was just blah
Imma cook up some blondes
He was way off
I don't look like a dinosaur
Ho them things 35 foot
I'm like 5 foot 11
But on Tinder I'm 6 foot
Seen that Broncheosaurus
That thing f*ckin neck go to heaven
And that's just an expression bitch
There ain't no heaven
I'm just messin but if he ain't wrong
I guess this the exception
Can I talk now?
Go ahead
Look
Everything in life has purpose
You, chickens, a midget at a circus
I don't interpret
Shit like that's not for me to determine
So dinosaurs purpose was like to just die?
That's not for me to interpret
I'm just a person
But think of the root of the argument girl
View how we started this girl, you don't believe in the aliens
You can find god the earth girl i find that shit silly and
I just don't presume to know the plan
Bitch me neither but that's not what I'm sayin
But what are you sayin?
Why can't God f*ck with aliens?
Why can't Earth just be like a f*cking sideproject for this guy?
Look we just don't see eye to eye
Yeah but logically you don't believe in your stuff
Yeah but you're like bringing up the dinosaurs
We could have shared the earth with them nobody knows
Damn there is hard soil evidence girl
Like whats next you don't f*ck with Pangea?
She like lets change the subject
That bitch don't know about Pangea
Brain leave it alone
I'm starving, are you hungry by chance?
Oh my god I'm so hungry
Yes, do you wanna get a pizza?
F*ck yeah. f*ck yeah, I'm on it
Also I'm sorry about that whole interrogation thing
Come on dude I'm a grown up
I'm capable of having
Intelligent conversations
Okay i just f*ck it
Okay back to this pizza I'll eat pepperoni
Ugh
Sausage?
How can you eat that shit
No no no, this not dominoes
This legit
This high quality meat and shit
No, no, I'm vegitarion
Oh, well we can get half pepperoni
And half of whatever you like
Uh, ew, I can't have that shit
In the same box
Seriously? you're that against meat?
No I'm that against us being gluttonous
Thinking that animals live on this earth to get eat
Okay, is it how we treat them?
Uh, it sure doesn't help
She like I'm not opposed to us huntin
But now we not trackin them down
We just breed them to eat
That's disgusting
You should honestly read on this subject
Alright hold up
Just because we not runnin around with a bow and arrow
Doesn't mean we're not hunting these chickens
We just decided the place to do our hunting intelligently enough
To manipulate these animals and get them to do exactly what we want
That's my point we just incubate animals
Instead of just letting them live how they come
But, what? that's just your God at work bitch
Why we go hard on earth
What you think happened right now
If you left my place
And there was like three wolves waiting for you
Wolves?
Bitch they would tear your ass up
Viciously
Like they would eat your titties
And your pussy
That's what they do
And your face and shit
That's what they do
Humans are smarter bitch
That's what we do
She like apples to oranges
Bitch that phrase don't make no sense
Why can't fruit be compared?
She like I'm gonna leave
There's just all of these conflicting principals
Right, enjoy your pepperoni pizza
Right, i will, that's my god given right
She like where is my bag
Oh that leather one next to the trash?
That's the one right? made out of cow, I think?
Uhh why are there no ubers in this area
So you don't eat the meat, you just wear the shit
I'm not listening dude
That's barbaric as shit
Do you come from the vikings?
Do you take peoples land?
Do you f*ck with the war?
How are there no ubers out here?
Just download lift, they have a bigger presence around here
I don't wanna add shit to my phone
Okay the choices are clear
Ubers are not around here
Taxis will come bu they real slow
And the brain gotta poop
T minus 5 till the brain gotta shit
I just downloaded lift
But it's being so glitchy
Okay look do you just want to sleep here
Uhh no
It's past 2 am
I'm not sharing a bed with you
You can sleep on the bed I can sleep on the floor
Fine you're sure
Yeah its cool I won't throw you out to the wolves
Oh my god you are so annoying
I couldn't help myself
But can you at least throw me a pillow
I'm just pillow talkin with a bitch
I'm just pillow talkin with a bitch
I just finished passing on a bitch
Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
Brain gotta poop still
Please don't neglect the brain
Please don't neglect the brain
[bell rings]
Wait is that my lift?
Nah I got a pizza
Full pepperoni too
So you're not gonna wanna be a part of it
But first you should poop
Please don't neglect the brain