[ Featuring Marty Richards ]
Once I used to brag about my handyman
But I ain't braggin' no more
Something strange has happened to my handyman
He's not the man he was before
I wish somebody could explain to me
About this dual personality
He don't perform his duties like he used to do
He never hauls the ashes 'less I tell him to
Before he hardly gets to work he says he's through
My handyman ain't handy nor more
The way he used to handle things was too bad Jim
That man was so efficient, full of pep and vim
Although he looks the same I know it isn't him
My handyman ain't handy no more
He's forgotten his domestic science
And he's lost all of his self-reliance
He wont make a single move unless he's told
He says he isn't lazy, claims that he ain't old
But still he sits around and let's my stove get cold
My handyman ain't handy no more