Just perusing
Through the world's largest record store
It's been a minute or two
Since I Stanned The Impersonals
With go-to low standards
Of phony disinterest
Just perusing
Through the world's largest record store
Once again, no holy grails
Squandering six dollars
On a poorly mastered bootleg of being
It's Puff the Magic Dragon
In John the Revelator's shoes
The doggone girl is not in the mood tonight
I'm doomed to die as self-described "pronk"
Or passive-aggressive sasscore
The Boomers keep blasting "Blackbird"
And wondering
Why BLM hasn't thanked them
"After the Gold Rush"
Is sounding more tragic than ever
But "Deathconsciousness"
Is wallpaper to me now
It's Puff the Magic Dragon
In John the Revelator's shoes
The doggone girl is not in the mood tonight
Silently searing
Mid-"Dungeoneering"
Absentmindedly steering
Toward the clearing that I fear
I've given Carly Rae Jepsen
A full penny this year (maybe two!)
If she doesn't owe me a *suggestive laugh*
Then this world is either perfectly just
Or just plain cruel
You should have cancelled my ass
A long f*cking time ago
It's only a matter of time
Before they exhume that pink Nazi costume
It's Puff the Magic Dragon
In John the Revelator's shoes
The doggone girl is not in the mood tonight
Silently searing
Mid-"Dungeoneering"
Absentmindedly steering
Toward the clearing that I fear