My precious little daughter
(yeah) you are just something sweet
I'm tryna make love to your mom
So go the f*ck to sleep
You stayed up crying every night
For like a f*cking week
The only thing that I can do
Is hold you, smoke a blunt, and drink
So one, two, three to the four, dad loves you
I'm gonna pay your college tuition
And make every dream that you
Ever had come true
When you're sixteen I'm gonna buy you a car
You'll be beautiful in it
But please, for the love of God
Can your mom and I have
Two or three minutes alone
Without the stressful crying
The next door neighbors probably
Gonna call the cops
And accuse your pops of domestic violence
Most of the time I want to kiss you
You're soft
But right now I feel like ripping you off
So lie down and go to sleep
My sweet little daughter
Your mom and I are trying
To make love tonight
I said go to motherf*cking sleep
My sweet little daughter
Little girl you, your mom, and your brother
Are the only things that I truly
Care about in this world
And I don't really wanna be rude but listen
Me and your mom had a god damn
Relationship that was wonderful and perfect
Years before you existed
So what? You're here a couple months
And you cry a couple times
And you think you get to cock block
Dad while he's at his physical prime
Is you out of your goddamn mind
Apparently you don't understand
That your f*cking
Parents need a little romance therapy
A little no pants therapy
I wanna put you in your crib
But I'm scared to leave
Don't you understand that all this
Crying is the exact reason
Your mom and I got in a huge
Argument the other night at Costco's
She was like "would you stop eating
All those goddamn free samples
You're 10 pounds overweight already"
And you just sat in the grocery
Cart and didn't defend me
I buy you all these diapers
Why you acting like I'm rich
You always hating on your daddy
Why you acting like a- no, no, no, no
I'd never call you that, you know that
I love you to death, I'm just saying
Sometimes you gotta let me and
Mom do our thing
Baby girl, you need to go to sleep
I haven't made love to your mom for 3 weeks
You're my princess, I'll build you a castle
But first stop acting like a asshole
Go to sleep!