(feat. James Cann)
[Announcer:] "The stars of our show, and America's "shiekest" couple,
Eddie Sparks and Dixie Leonard!"
[J:] I remember you.
[B:] I'd like to say that you're in my dreams.
[J:] You're the one who made my dreams come true
[B:] You're usually dead,
[J:] a few
[B:] without a head,
[J:] kisses ago.
[B:] and lots of natives are picking their teeth with your bones.
[J:] I remember, too,
[B:] Oh, what a dream!
[J:] a distant bell,
[B:] It comes at night and taunts me,
[J:] and stars that fell
[B:] and, like your jokes, it haunts me until
[J:] like rain out of the blue.
[B:] I'm blue as your face as the last breath leaves you.
[J:] When my life is through,
[B:] I'll jump for joy.
[J:] and the angels ask me to recall
[B:] and when Winchell asks me to recall
who's a chump and a heel.
[J:] the thrill of it all,
[B:] Who's the biggest schlemeil?
[Both:] Then I will tell them I remember . . .
[J:] "So, uh, it's my birthday comin' up."
[B:] "Yeah, I know, Eddie."
[J:] "But, what do you give a guy that's got everything?"
[B:] "Uh, penicillin?"
[J:] "Hmmm, hey Dix? You ever been married?"
[B:] "Oh, yeah, Eddie, twice!"
[J:] "Children?"
[B:] "No, silly! Grown men!
Tell me, Eddie, what's the most romantic thing a woman ever said to you?"
[J:] "Are you sure you're not a cop?"
Then I will tell them I remember . . . you.
[B:] You
[J:] and you.