Miraa Monet - I Talk to Myself Lyrics

I really have no idea what anyone here is talking about
(You don't deserve emotion)
My minds inside a countdown to the hurt
And it's not that I'm paranoid
I know it's gonna happen
And when it does
I'm sure
It's 'cause you sought it out
It would never just
Manifest itself
As something for you to accept...
So casually
I'm sure you'd be fine without me
How convenient for you
Could forget the whole thing
Just like a bad movie, we're losing time
Waiting to feel entertained by the story
I force all of my smiles
I could be living a better life right now
But I stay and I worry that you're
Falling out of love
You're gonna do something to piss me off
'Cause I'm not
Someone you care a lot for anymore
If I'm wrong then tell me your
Inner dialogue's speeches
I know it's been trying to reach you
Look in the mirror while you speak to yourself
(Do you talk to yourself?) I talk to me too
But I think I want you
I talk to myself too (Do you talk to yourself?)
I think I want you
And I think I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my night to the monsters
They help me get lost
Dig out a hole in my thoughts so to hide underneathe the dust
For the ride, they come along
I'm toxic when they steer me wrong
Only functional inside a song
So hopefully they carry on
In a way that will
In a way that will
Have them leave me be
Leave me be
I can only grow when the holes gone
Though I'll never know where to hold on to what I learn
On a higher perspective: discussions with strangers impressive
'Cause they hold a glimpse of a better version of me
Must be a dream
Outside of sleep
Trying to breathe
Trying to free me
Me and my reflections
I'm confessin' to you imperfection
I know it's a lot to digest
But if you get what I mean
That's a blessing
'Cause
I talk to myself
N' if you talk to yourself
Then you know why I'm stressed out
You know why I'm stressing the details
I'm sorry I'm sad
And it's over
(And nowhere) I think I want you
Know why I ...
I know you do, I know you do
N' it's over
I think I want you
I talk to myself... (I forget how old I was)
Feels like I have to make a decision
Being a good person and being capable
Of taking care of myself
(I talk to myself) Not being controlled
If that's really what you think then you shouldn't have put yourself in those situations
(I think I want you) It's like, okay- did I meet this girl that was inside my head for a while? (I talk to myself)
And I felt like I had gotten to know her enough (You have to walk away from it)
N' I don't need to talk to her anymore?