Cocaine and Cigarettes Video (MV)

I've been thinking
I've been drinking
And I've been smoking
Just a little bit too much
Now
I'm just a boy
Sitting all alone
With a microphone

Staring at this mirror
Trying to figure
How you ever plan to
Get any better?
No ones gonna patch
The hole in your chest
Another smoke and
You might finally get some rest
But, it seems
The nightmares have been at it again
Sit and listen to your favorite bands
While you try to understand
What's happening
Why your hands won't stop shaking
Clammy, and covered from sweat
She said
You had the smell of boxed wine
And cigarettes on your breath. Now
I can't blame you, but
You've been drunk
Every night this week
I'm so sick
Of falling asleep without you

Cocaine and cigarettes
These feelings I can't resist
Gloomy days and restless nights
Leave me feeling like
I can't do nothing right
And these are the words I should've said
Before all these tears that I have shed

Now, is it selfish to think
What if that happens to me?
Excuse me for saying
But after seeing so many people
Overdosing lately
You gotta wonder why
After watching all these friends die
You still don't realize
Getting high all the time
Can't be the solution
For not wanting to be alive
If you want to survive your
Schizophrenic mind
What if I had been more grateful?
What if I had been more present
What if I had acted a little different
Towards my brother?
Sometimes I feel like my little brother
Missed his brother growing up
Sometimes I feel like
I missed my little brother growing up
I'm so sorry my demons are so difficult to resolve
It's not like they stopped haunting me
We just seem to have an understanding
I just never wanted to see you end up
Like me
But, it seems
Temptation is harder to leave on read
The voices aren't there if you pretend
Whats the difference between
Dreams and reality
If they only exist within
The perception you create
In your own head
Yet, you always dread
On this idea that
Its all your fault
You seem to think at the root of ever problem
You're the cause
You keep saying you're just gonna
Go with the flow
Roll with the punches
Do another line of blow
Nobody wants to hear how sad I am
Nobody wants to hear how alone I feel
But, isn't that what caught
These girls attention?
Isn't it this emptiness that
Makes you think you feel a connection?
Everyone just wants to hear
How good I'm doing
So they can go on Partying
I'm Drunk
No need for a blind fold
I'm driving with my eyes closed
Its my favorite holiday
But now all my friends feel like
People i used to know
All I wanted to do is tell people
How unhappy I feel
But for some reason
It just makes everyone uncomfortable

Cocaine and cigarettes
These feelings I can't resist
Gloomy days and restless nights
Leave me feeling like
I can't do nothing right
And these are the words I should've said
Before all these tears that I have shed

I'm loosing myself again
I'm about to drown my f*cking feelings again
Catching up with an old friend
The medicine man
He brought some buds
Rolled up ones
And lines of fun
I'm too far gone
To even stand being around you
You hate what I've become
You hate what I've done
But girl we both know
This is who I always was
The boy you fell in love with

(Every day, shit
Every night, shit)

The frigid air sends shivers
That tend to feel more like tremors
But the warmth from the light
In the dark of the night
Finds a way to burn away
Every cloud in sight
Igniting this drive to wanna be alright
This dying flame is no different
Than this idea that someday
You'll be okay
This odor doesn't always comfort
The normal human brain
Maybe i'm just a fool
Thats had way too much to do
Maybe you could stay with me
Until we're like 80
Being with you is so intoxicating
I know by 8 am
I'll be all alone
And devastated once again
But tonight
The river flows clearer
Under the gray moon
But tonight
The river seems to sing
In perfect tune
Tonight
Its just the river, me, and you

(Every night, shit
Every day, shit)

Always feeling vacant
From every situation
Depictions of these visions
Make me believe in premonitions
Like, thats so raven (what?)
I'm so tired of spending all my time
Reminiscing
Im so tired of craving attention
I don't want to feel as if i need
Recognition
I just wanna feel like someday
I'll actually reach my destination
Frustration making me question
If I'll ever make it out of this place
This pit stop in my life
Its like
Jesus f*cking christ
I can't be destined to wash dishes
Until I die, Right?