Mr. Sunshine - If I Die Lyrics

Give me a compass 'cause looking up north isn't making me see
Unbalanced, put some guidance in me
Please God, help me, help me, would I have words like Jeremiah?
Who am I? What am I? I have no idea
Insane paradox, same thoughts, insomnia
I'm tired of these drugs, I can't get my mind right
I spend nights thinking about what I'm leaving behind if I die
I'm depressed, Lost, more since July
This is what I didn't have planned but what did I expect?
The past haunts me, faded words by ghosts
That's when it got way worse, destroyed moments
I guess when death, there's life
Something amiss killing my head, it's been the same since Day N Night
Like drugs are bad, right? But I've been doing drugs all of my life since I was 3
Just to make me fit in but I don't wanna, I don't agree
But I did, anyway, seemed cool but then I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

I don't care if I die (I'm dying, dying)
I just wanna live (live, live) my memories
I just wanna feel the lullaby of the memories
I just wanna feel the lullaby of the memories

Am I real to you? what's my value
I can't describe how I feel, inside my mind
I sit and observe the universe
Look for my spirit within the stars
In my eyes, I feel like the only one on Earth
The same problem I've had for years that was quite harmful
The fall of the apple is quite blissful
Nobody thought to take a glance when I'm silent
I'm not perfect, I'm different and honestly, that's kinda excellent
However, I might seem happy but
No No No I'm not fine
I just feel like I'm losing my mind

I don't care if I die (I'm dying, dying)
I just wanna live (Live, live) my memories
I just wanna feel the lullaby of the memories
I just wanna feel the lullaby of the memories

I remember one time that I was dreaming, I prayed to be dreaming
When I heard my mom screaming in the middle of the night
I made a call that I never thought that would change my life
To a path of good lies of which was the tip of the iceberg
So, I don't know what lies ahead cause I can't trust it
I've wished I was dead, just to daydream
I never had dreams cause I been living a dream
I been living but I never feel living, been living on the brink
I don't need saving, I just need another drink
And it disappoints me to say
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and
I guess that the best-laid plans of mice and men go oft awry